#Reverb14 Day 16

In 2015, is there something you’d like to try harder at because you believe it would make all the difference? Conversely, what is something you could stop trying so hard at that might actually help you manifest what you’d like?

These two questions are closely intertwined for me. For the duration of 2013 and 2014, I lost sight of my goals and focus. No matter what, I need to try harder at my writing. I don’t just believe it will make a difference — I know it will make a difference. I’m so much happier when I’ve written here or in my own private journal and gratitude journal. When I can make a list of things I’m grateful for daily, I realize I’m richer than I think. When I can list the accomplishments I’ve achieved daily, I realize that I’m doing my very best. When I can let the words come out through ink onto paper, I feel lighter. When I’ve connected with others here and realize we’re all much closer than it seems, I feel that sense of community. And so, I’d like to try harder to maintain my writing practices.

As far as stopping something that may be hindering the organic process, I’m not quite sure how to verbalize it. I think I try so hard to build something that won’t happen overnight. I try so hard to go from here to the magical there that I lose sight of the journey and the finer details for all points in between. I know what sort of lifestyle it is that I’d like to manifest — I just don’t quite know the HOW anymore. It seemed so obvious in December 2012, but I’ve since had life grasp me firmly by the face and pull me into other directions that didn’t include how to grow a business or become self-employed. And truly, I don’t think I’ve tried to hard on any of that in the last two years, either. By all accounts, I’ve ignored those parts of myself to the point of resentment. Now that the dust is settled, I’m trying so hard to remember what it was that I wanted to accomplish and why it was that I wanted to accomplish it. I’m trying so hard to decide if that’s really still what I want to do. Maybe that’s what I need to stop trying. Maybe I just need to let life organically bring me back to where I was or bring me to something new. Instead of worrying about the past and trying to reconnect, I should realize that I’m a different person now. It’s time to stop agonizing over lost time and start looking at where I am, who I am, and what I want out of life.