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#Reverb11: Blog Finds

Blog Find of the Year (Inspired by Gwen Bell): Share the love — which blog(s) did you discover this year?

This year I discovered quite a few bloggers who totally rocked my socks. They’ve inspired me to aspire to greater things, and I’m glad to read each one of them.

A Robin’s View
Cali Harris
Cordelia Calls It Quits by Kelly Gurnett
Free Range Dreams by Diana Rosenfield
Kaileen Elise
Patrick Rhone
Picsie Chick by Teresa Deak
The Barefoot Heart by Jeanne Hewell-Chambers
The Middle Finger Project by Ashley Ambirge

These people are all awesome reads, and I encourage you to check them out.

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#MindfulMonday Reframing

Last week I read an essay by Patrick Rhone about how we apply frames to what we do and how we go about doing it. For a while, I had come to terms with the word “blogger,” sort of allowing myself to become a blogger who blogs. I remember when I originally started this, the term “blog” seemed vulgar to me. I hated it. I didn’t want to say it aloud. And yet here I am, a blogger who blogs — not anymore. I am a writer who merely hasn’t published any major works just yet. I write nearly everyday, and I simply use the blog platform as a means to publish my essays. If I continue to view this as blogging to be a blogger, I’m not going to move forward with my goals of writing. I want to publish meaty works, but I’m still practicing and honing my craft via essays. These aren’t your public school five paragraph essays, but they are essays. I have no need for a thesis statement with three neatly sculpted points to make before concluding with some well-thought out conclusion. I assume my readers grasp the main concept behind my essay simply by reading through it — from start to finish.

This ties in with my efforts to realign myself and my work. If I don’t add reframing into the recipe, I would be missing a key element to achieving my dreams. And because I’m brimming with “re” words these days, I’m currently working to reinvent myself. I’ve been inspired by Jasmine of the The Brokins and her Project Totus, and she asked me what I’m doing in response to my comment expressing as much. Well Jasmine, I’m not quite sure yet — but I know that I want to stop living in this place, in this frame of mind that continues to oppress me. In following with that inspiration, Gwen Bell’s weekly intentions got me thinking about making my own weekly intentions. I currently have a sticky note on my laptop that reads “my intention for this week is to escape oppression.” In short, I’m tired of feeling like I have to deal with the day-to-day drama that seems to permeate my life without my permission. I have a few options to deal with these feelings, but I know in my heart that I desperately want and need change. I’ve already been granted a means to affect that change, but now the ball rests back in my hand, awaiting my next move. Where I throw that ball next remains to be seen — but you can bet I’m going to channel the inspiration that seems prevalent in my life, even when more negative energy seems to monopolize my environment.

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State of the Website

First of all, you’ll begin to notice some changes around here. I’m not big on a huge unveiling, though, because too many steps go into it. Instead, we’re going to take small steps from the current layout to a brand new layout — I’ve been completely inspired by Gwen Bell’s website evolution and Gretchen Rubin’s policy of doing what will get done instead of fantasizing about perfection (I’m loosely paraphrasing). I’ve started off by adding an avatar, courtesy of the lovely Axel. She’ll be designing a second avatar for me as well, and I’m sure I’ll figure a way around CSS to include both avatars in my layout. The color scheme will change, as with the content layout.

Secondly, I’ve also decided to go forward with introducing my tutoring services, in keeping with the concept of building upon a blank slate. I openly invite you to share this link with any of your Georgian and Tennessean friends. As a new school year approaches, I hope to bring my services to everyone in need — including those who may be economically disadvantaged. There’s no reason why financial hardship should be a barrier to educational success. We can’t break the cycle of poverty unless we extend the same educational opportunities to everyone.

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Mindful Monday: A Month of Processing

As January 2011 comes to a close, I’m pausing to reflect on the first month of this new year. I’ve spent most of this month internally processing all of life’s changes since the close of 2010. The Reverb 10 series gave me a lot of fodder to ruminate over 2010’s events and manifestations for 2011. I aspire to become an English consultant, a tutor, a freelance writer, an independent editor — my own boss. My writing on this blog should reflect that goal clearly, in fact. I’ve been blogging professionally for over three years now, and in that time I’ve made friends, attempted to monetize, written sponsored posts, and devised a posting schedule. Mindful Mondays focus on my endeavors to be more mindful of my words, actions, psyche, and body. Wordless Wednesdays provide an outlet for my photography hobby. Thankful Thursdays became the new gratitude series, so that I could share my appreciation for all things big and small in life. Foodie Friday caters to my love of food. I’ve had to move due to a fire, as well as job loss. Over the past seven months, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect on my desire to earn a living as my own employer. Money affords us the ability to provide for ourselves and our dependents — and I’m sure we all know by now that I really need an income to feel like my kids are going to live comfortably. I’ve been seriously considering finding a job — full time or part time — in order to feel like I’m doing my part, and yet I find that being home for them also has it’s perks. I mean, I wanted to spend more time with my family after all.

During this month, I’ve had the opportunity to discover what feeds my soul and what poisons it. I’ve had the time to seriously consider purging clutter that I really don’t want, need, or use anymore. The emotional attachments we form to seemingly silly objects is rather fascinating, and at the same time I understand how some people can horde a plethora of items. We project our memories onto inanimate objects in an attempt to remember our memories at a later date. Sure, the memory’s been made, but we don’t always remember to relish in those good memories — as a matter of fact, I doubt I’m alone in that I some times dwell on the not-so-nice memories more readily than the good. However, packing and unpacking has made me realize that I need to ask myself what I really want, need, and use in my life. Additionally, I’ve begun asking myself a lot of questions about the present and the future. I’ve brainstormed ideas for my blog, my business website, and a professional website (more details to come next month). I’m excited about the possibilities and cautious about the obstacles ahead. While 2010’s business hasn’t quite given up just yet, this year seems to have a glimmer of hope beginning to shine through.

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Temporary Hiatus

You may or may not have noticed that I’m currently behind by three days. I will likely not get back on track with my Reverb 10 posts until Thursday at the earlier because I am moving on Tuesday. This means that tomorrow will be spent packing a truck and cleaning the old digs, and Wednesday will be spent unpacking a truck and setting up some new digs. I might still be working on my Reverb 10 posts into January, but who cares? I don’t need to start my “resolutions” on January 1st. It’s all arbitrary, really. There’s no reason why I can’t take a break from all these reflections and manifestations to live in the here and now of packing mindfully — really, I need my mind to be present when it comes to packing fragile objects. I’d like my dishes to arrive at our destination in one piece so I can actually use them again, you know. In the mean time, I hope you’re all enjoying a safe and happy holiday season.

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Reverb 10: Beyond Avoidance

Prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

Is it any surprise that I avoided writing a response to this prompt yesterday? If you couldn’t guess, I really should have been focused on my writing — more importantly, I should have been focused on my career as a writer. I should have been writing on an almost daily basis, regaling my readers with clever, thoughtful discourse. I should have been planning my next moves and plotting my course. I should have been focused on making the transition from employed to self-employed. I should have been true to myself.

Oh, there were distractions around every corner this year. It seemed like every time I stopped to look up, I was surrounded by other, more urgent tasks. Instead of spending more time in “quadrant two,” I was constantly in quadrant one. Other times, I felt so ridiculously burnt out that I’d flounder into quadrant four just because I didn’t feel like doing anything other than sudoku, crosswords, or checking up on friends. And who could blame me? I was feeling jaded. I felt embittered by years of grooming — almost like those words in high school about college making you poverty-proof was little more than brainwashing. (Disclaimer: Kids, don’t take the wrong message out of this — get your butts to college, study what you love, and get that expensive piece of paper anyway! It’s too damn important to pass up.)

I was terrified of leaving a day job to pursue my dreams. I worried about bills and keeping my family in a stable, secure environment. I also questioned if there really was a need for people like me. I’d find myself swamped with projects, typically of the OPD variety. Honestly? I’m an ISFJ, which basically means I suffer from “doormat syndrome.” It took that unpleasant life change back in July for me to be free from my duties to others (except for my immediate family, who I’m more than happy to support as they are part of the dream for me).

Over the past six months, I’ve had plenty of time to mull over the possibilities, and I’ve come to realize it’s not just about putting a roof over our heads or making ends meet. It’s about feeling productive, feeling creative, and feeling fulfilled. Walking around day in and day out feeling like you’re on autopilot might earn paychecks, but it sucks your soul right out of your body. My last two months of employment had next to nothing to offer my career, and it completely blew. I sat there some mornings trying to work up motivation to complete my six months there in order to have the opportunity to once again job search within the university. I didn’t want to be the little assistant who maintains calendars and processes expense reports — I wanted to be the writer, the editor, the person relishing in all the creative little tasks. Next year, I’m not going to settle for anything. Unless it contributes to my dreams, it’s not worth my time. Next year, it’s about becoming the writer, editor, consultant, and tutor I aspire to be. Next year, I’m taking control of my life and leaving out the middlemen who are mere go-betweens for me and the IRS. Hey, the IRS publishes all their forms online — why shouldn’t I go into business for myself? And have you seen what texting has done to our youth? People need me to undo the damage caused by texting. Literacy needs me to mend our broken lines of communication. Now is not the time to feel insignificant. Now is the time to seize opportunity while it’s still slapping me in the face, shaking my collar, and screaming at me, “why don’t you just accept me for what I am?!”

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Reverb 10: Writing

Prompt: Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

This is such a loaded question for me. I do so many things everyday that likely do not contribute a single thing to my writing, yet most of them are things necessary tasks. Dishes? Laundry? Meal preparation? Diaper changes? Retrieving a mobile baby from furniture every five minutes? All necessities. What could I eliminate from my daily routines? Actually, I could stand to detach from my inbox a bit more. Recently, I signed up for a Gmail system tray notification application — probably not the best idea if I want to quit compulsively checking my email. However, I signed up with the idea that seeing the subject titles would suffice. Theoretically, that should be sufficient for my basis needs, but it’s become more of an attraction to log in and read the actual emails.

On the other hand, I feel I should do more to promote my daily writing, to focus more on making the time to do so. Sure, it might be nice to eliminate distractions, but then I’m focusing more on the distractions themselves. I feel that I don’t do enough to flesh out a time and place to sit and write on a regular basis. I find more often than not that I’m regularly in a situation that requires my attention to be elsewhere, and those situations tend to present as both important and urgent. Nothing’s more pressing than a little boy who’s discovered the thrill of climbing onto the couch, watching the horrified expressions on his mother’s face. The impish grin, the devious twinkle in his eyes — my son knows what he’s doing, and I fear my future with this child holds many terrifying rides. “Mommy, that one’s an inverted roller coaster! Let’s go on that!” Um, no thanks — I like my feet firmly planted on the ground, not dangling in midair while thrusting forward at 60 miles per hour. On the other hand, I’ll bet that would make for some seriously interesting reading.

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Reverb 10: One Word

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Disappointment. That’s exactly how I feel about the year 2010. It began with bright hopes and big dreams. I began looking for a job that would pay me what I wanted and offer benefits. Instead, I took a job I wasn’t entirely wild about. The pay wasn’t up to par, and the people weren’t nearly as bonded as I had been accustomed to. I didn’t quite want to take it, but I knew restructuring would eventually force me to leave my former job. I also found a way to make the salary work, but somehow it still didn’t feel like the right move to make. Ultimately, it was not meant to be as I spent the later half of this year unemployed. I was cautioned that the last one hired is the first one fired, but that thinking wouldn’t permit for me to accept employment elsewhere. This time of unemployment has set the stage for the rest of my 2010, and it’s been quite unpleasant. I’d prefer never to relive this sort of discomfort again.

I would like 2011 to be summarized by success. I’m preparing to start my own business as a freelance writer, editor, English consultant, and English tutor. I see a real need for enhanced writing skills amid the nonsense of texting and “lolspeak.” Don’t get me wrong — I love a good macro just as much as the next person, but I can’t stand seeing it pervade everyday writing. I’d also love to finally make my words count for something more than pennies. I would love to wrap up my 2011 knowing my single member limited liability corporation can pay the bills and make life comfortable. I want to know I’m capable of employing myself — no bosses, no office politics, no nonsense.

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Mindful Monday: Gearing up for Reverb 10

Last December, I participated in Gwen Bell’s Best 09 blog challenge. It was a great way to get some creative ideas following and reflect on the year gone by. This year she’s done it again, along with two other amazing women — and I plan to participate again. I will be reflecting on the year 2010 and manifesting what’s next for 2011 via her Reverb 10 project. The year 2010 has brought me some very interesting life changes, and I’m looking towards 2011 for something fresh and new. June 11th, 2011 will mark the 10th anniversary of my high school graduation. Whether or not I’m able to attend the reunion remains to be seen, but the occasion will still be momentous in my life. Has it really been that long already? And yet, it also seems like decade ago in that regard. Life has changed so very, very much since high school. I’m looking towards 2011 for the formal beginning of my career as an entrepreneur, a freelancer, an independent contractor, a free agent. I’m looking towards 2011 to be my escape from the rat race, being someone’s assistant, having someone to tell me when, where, and how to work. It would seem all signs are pointing to the perfect opportunity to do so.

As the Thanksgiving holiday fast approaches, I will be counting my blessings in life. Sure, things aren’t exactly perfect and shiny at the moment, but life could be so much worse. For example, did you know that most people settle for a partner they’re not entirely in love with just avoid being alone? Yet here I am, nearly 10 years involved with my soul mate, feeling blessed to have him enriching my life on a daily basis. As I’ve told my wise friend who drives one of the buses we take regularly, I really do scratch my head about that one everyday. I might not have all the greatest things, but I’ve got something that even the wealthiest never find. See? Always something to be thankful for in life.

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Life Changes

All things considered, I’ve finally realized my lack of writing can be forgiven. After all, there’s only so much time between the baby’s climbing escapades. There’s only so much time when all three kids are either napping or spending quiet time in their rooms. There’s only so much time left after I’ve devoted most of it to a seemingly fruitless job hunt. And on that subject, what does a woman have to do to get a job these days? Apparently it’s not as simple as it used to be — but of course, the job market is over-saturated with many of my other unemployed brethren. We’re all flailing about, hoping potential employers will see us for the shining stars that we are and choose one of us. Where there are jobs, there are also more qualified candidates. Where there are service jobs, there are high schoolers and college students ready and willing to work. Living in a college town, I find that job hunting needs to be timed just right, or else you’re out of luck for several months before the next round of hiring begins.

Lately the potential for a change of scenery has weighed heavily upon my mind. Each passing day brings more debt and less hope for salvation. Each day I realize more so that I may very well have to accept a serious change in living arrangements and lifestyle. We wouldn’t become homeless, no. However, we would be leaving the state. I realize in the past I have complained that I’m tired of living here, but I really wanted to leave Florida on my own terms. This is a little less on my terms. On the other hand, this could very well still be the opportunity I need in order to make the leap from someone’s employee to my own boss. I could potentially spin this into my chance to write for a living. I could put forth energy into my own business exploits because rent and utilities wouldn’t exactly be the issue they’ve been. Sure, I don’t intend to be a freeloader, but I don’t see any reason why I’d need to continue spending the same amount on my living expenses as I do now.

Time is running short, and the probability of an interstate move seems much higher these days. My writings may be spent more in private paper and pen format, rather than a public weblog format, but know I don’t mean to ignore my public writings. In fact, I’d love to devote more time to it, and I just might get that chance at the start of 2011. My goals for 2010 might be a wash, but that doesn’t mean a shiny new beginning couldn’t mean a chance for achieving goals and living dreams.

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