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#Trust30 Dreams

Dreams by Michael Rad

Abide in the simple and noble regions of thy life, obey thy heart. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Write down your top three dreams. Now write down what’s holding you back from them.

Here are my top three dreams, in no particular order: 1) buy a house with at least 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a pool, and enough land for a fruit and vegetable garden, a private picnic area, and room for the kids and pets to run around; 2) become a successful English consultant, spending my days tutoring, writing, and editing, all while paying the bills in full and living comfortably — NOT paycheck to paycheck, barely making ends meet; and 3) maintain good health. Above all else in the world, these are the top three dreams I’d like to live.

What’s holding me back from buying that dream house? Why, money, of course. I’m actually smitten with this house because it meets all the criteria, plus it’s ridiculously inexpensive. I first saw it listed at $289,000 earlier this year. Now, $259,000 is still above my budget, but a girl can dream. In order to purchase a home, we need to save for a down payment and net enough income in order to pay for the mortgage. Saving and netting more income is easier said then done, too. Unexpected expenses keep popping up, and income has been tenuous at best. Finally returning to the workforce should help alleviate some of these issues, but getting passed the following hurdles should increase our chances to fund this dream.

What’s holding me back from becoming an English consultant? At the end of the day, I need to take responsibility for not getting things accomplished. I don’t necessarily have to let other people’s drama come between me and getting work done. I tend to shy away from asking for help, too. I simply need to assert myself more often and go to the library or some equally out-of-sight-out-of-mind location where I can concentrate on the details of my business. To advertise my tutoring services locally, I’ll have better luck with low-tech marketing strategies, which require a certain amount of ink and paper. Ink and paper cost money, so there’s that money obstacle again. Speak up, earn money.

What’s holding me back from being healthier? I’m uninsured, I don’t have enough room to grow my own garden, I don’t have enough money to purchase tons of fresh produce, and I’m not as assertive as I should be with regards to exercise. Insurance and food = money. Asserting myself in order to get exercise = speak up.

While I’d absolutely love to snap my fingers and make money working for myself, I know that I’m not done working outside of the home just yet. I also need to bring out my voice more often. Over my lifetime, I’ve become more assertive in some ways, yet I still need more work in that regard. However, I will again reference the fact that I fought hard for my HBA2C, and my fighting paid off. Some days I’m a stronger fighter than others, but some times I just want to relax and live peacefully. I get tired of fighting. Right now, I can’t afford to stop fighting. I need to fight until everything works out the way I’ve dreamt it should. It’s time to roll up my sleeves, get some work done, make some money, and fight my way to happiness.

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State of the Website

First of all, you’ll begin to notice some changes around here. I’m not big on a huge unveiling, though, because too many steps go into it. Instead, we’re going to take small steps from the current layout to a brand new layout — I’ve been completely inspired by Gwen Bell’s website evolution and Gretchen Rubin’s policy of doing what will get done instead of fantasizing about perfection (I’m loosely paraphrasing). I’ve started off by adding an avatar, courtesy of the lovely Axel. She’ll be designing a second avatar for me as well, and I’m sure I’ll figure a way around CSS to include both avatars in my layout. The color scheme will change, as with the content layout.

Secondly, I’ve also decided to go forward with introducing my tutoring services, in keeping with the concept of building upon a blank slate. I openly invite you to share this link with any of your Georgian and Tennessean friends. As a new school year approaches, I hope to bring my services to everyone in need — including those who may be economically disadvantaged. There’s no reason why financial hardship should be a barrier to educational success. We can’t break the cycle of poverty unless we extend the same educational opportunities to everyone.

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Reverb 10: Achieve

Prompt: Achieve. What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.

Now that I’m settled enough to get back to meditating and writing on these prompts, I’m choosing to respond in the order of which suits me best. Today I’m choosing the December 28th prompt by Tara Sophia Mohr. I spend so much time pondering the year ahead and all the opportunities it holds. Sure, the road ahead appears difficult, littered with obstacles and challenges that threaten to derail my efforts, yet I feel hopeful that I can harness the power to transfer misery into happiness.

What do I want most of all? What would I like to achieve? I want to become my own boss. No more clocking in, clocking out. No more worrying about waiting on payday. No more worrying about work-life balancing acts that always seem to lean more heavily into the work portion. Right now, I’m still feeling like this is a very scary endeavor I’m partaking, however I imagine I’m going to feel extremely accomplished and satisfied with myself and the lifestyle I make for myself by the end of this year. I imagine I will feel liberated and fulfilled. I imagine myself working with students and clients who enrich my soul and brighten my days. I imagine sitting here leisurely sipping the simple mocha — a packet of hot chocolate mix, a serving of instant coffee, and a mug full of hot water — or tea, feeling at peace with my life, knowing my bank account’s in the black thanks to my efforts. I imagine enjoying the sun shining through the windows, reminding me that I once felt despair and anguish that passed as seasons tend to do. I imagine feeling relieved that I can finally go forward with plans of home ownership once again.

So what 10 things can I do to feel that feeling today? What 10 things will further my cause, making this dream a reality?

  1. I can relish the mug of mocha I just finished sipping.
  2. I can look out the window at the late afternoon sun shining down on a chilly north-west Georgia landscape.
  3. I can continue unpacking boxes, moving items to their proper locations, and laying out furniture in a homey setup.
  4. I can advertise my tutoring services.
  5. I can work on my business websites to move them closer to unveiling.
  6. I can take a hot bath to relax my muscles and my mind.
  7. I can calendar deadlines and create tasks in my Thunderbird.
  8. I can drink my water to ensure I’m well hydrated.
  9. I can curl up on the couch to do nothing for a little while.
  10. I can meditate.

These are all relatively simple tasks that can make a humongous difference in my life at this point in time. I need to also remember that success doesn’t happen over night. It takes baby steps and perseverance. Here’s hoping that 2011 will bring me all I wish for and more!

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Reverb 10: One Word

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Disappointment. That’s exactly how I feel about the year 2010. It began with bright hopes and big dreams. I began looking for a job that would pay me what I wanted and offer benefits. Instead, I took a job I wasn’t entirely wild about. The pay wasn’t up to par, and the people weren’t nearly as bonded as I had been accustomed to. I didn’t quite want to take it, but I knew restructuring would eventually force me to leave my former job. I also found a way to make the salary work, but somehow it still didn’t feel like the right move to make. Ultimately, it was not meant to be as I spent the later half of this year unemployed. I was cautioned that the last one hired is the first one fired, but that thinking wouldn’t permit for me to accept employment elsewhere. This time of unemployment has set the stage for the rest of my 2010, and it’s been quite unpleasant. I’d prefer never to relive this sort of discomfort again.

I would like 2011 to be summarized by success. I’m preparing to start my own business as a freelance writer, editor, English consultant, and English tutor. I see a real need for enhanced writing skills amid the nonsense of texting and “lolspeak.” Don’t get me wrong — I love a good macro just as much as the next person, but I can’t stand seeing it pervade everyday writing. I’d also love to finally make my words count for something more than pennies. I would love to wrap up my 2011 knowing my single member limited liability corporation can pay the bills and make life comfortable. I want to know I’m capable of employing myself — no bosses, no office politics, no nonsense.

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