I’m not 100% sure if this even counts as a confession anymore. I came out with this confession about a year ago. According to the Walker County Department of Family and Children Services, I am a bad mother. I’m so awful, in fact, that I deserved to have one — only one — of my three children removed from my custody for 15 months. I’m so awful that I expect their father to do his fair share of parenting and housekeeping. Apparently that makes me dependent, and I should be ashamed of myself for being a mortal human. I’m despicable because I believe my son’s psychiatrist is qualified to diagnose my son and offer treatment methods that will help my son succeed throughout his life. I’m evil because I expect that the school system will recognize this and give him the accommodations that he is legally entitled to.
Now that we’ve gotten THAT out of the way, here’s an even deeper confession: I despise that county agency with every fiber of my being. I don’t believe for one minute that they have ANYONE’S best interests at heart. I have seen two cases of child neglect go unpunished — in one case, the mother in question has NOT EVEN dealt with a fraction of the pain I have. If they were to drug test that woman, they will quickly see that she is truly ineffective as a mother. Instead, they permit her to deny access to her information. I guess this is what makes me stupid — I blindly submitted to these people. Instead of standing up from the start, I let them steamroll me and my family. Instead of questioning their practices and ethics, I assumed I was obligated to cooperate regardless of my opinions.
I also must confess that I still love my husband and father of all three of my children. Apparently, this is reprehensible. Apparently, I was supposed to put on a show worthy of Jerry Springer. I’m sorry, but all three children exist for a good reason. All three children share a father for a good reason. I believe children need two parents.
And for the record, let me confess that I hate being a single mother — especially by force. It’s ridiculous to have to juggle all these demands. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I have more demands on me than a typical single parent. After all, I have a county agency breathing down the back of my neck expecting me to be Super Mom, even though that runs counter to everything I’ve learned throughout my life. It’s contrary to the very parenting classes I took to satisfy these people. I graduated about 9 months ago. Yes, I completed goals in record time, yet I’m still clawing my way through this mess.
And for my final confession: I’m going to question your motives if you tell me that you want to follow a career in social work. The system is corrupt, and I don’t think destroying a family is worth it in the least. We didn’t need separation. We didn’t need financial ruin. We didn’t need permanent emotional trauma. We needed each other.
