#Cultivate2014 Day 10 Response

It’s kind of funny in a way. I haven’t been very active on my blog. I fell off the radar on Twitter for a while. I kind of started to just keep my social media to updating friends and family on Facebook. My posts mainly focus on my life’s circumstances. I tried to maintain my social presence last year, but a person can only last so long before the crushing weight of an enormous boulder forces you to focus more on less. To be quite honest, I realize that losing my presence was likely career suicide. I have a feeling that I basically need to rebuild from scratch in order to even continue dreaming of working from my laptop whenever and wherever I feel like it. I don’t even have the gumption to “lifestyle design” at this point — I just want to survive the times between leaving my bed and getting back into it. If I didn’t have all these responsibilities nagging me to be productive and functional, I’d likely not leave my bed at all. It’s really sick and twisted that an agency that’s purported to “help” can do so much emotional damage to a person’s psyche.

I’ve been a broken record with this, too — which is a big reason I’ve neglected my social media outlets. I don’t like being a whiner. I’m not here to whine and complain. I’m here to dream big, show gratitude, and share my journey of cultivating a thriving life worth loving. Only now, the person I want to be and the person I am are two completely different entities. Who’s got time to tweet about happiness and gratitude when they’re busy putting out proverbial fires and playing damage control? Who’s got the time to think about blogging when they’re too busy worrying about which bills need to be paid next and if the kids will notice the lack of meat in their dinner.

I guess I’m just afraid of letting this become my new “livejournal.” That was my place to gripe. Then we started moving along to Facebook and Twitter, and things changed. I guess if I were to set an intention for changing my social media habits, I would say that I need to treat social media the way I treat my gratitude journal. I need to process privately in my journal and rebuild my readership with the content I want to see here. But I also don’t want to waste this opportunity to raise awareness of a very real problem in our society. I don’t want to lose the opportunity to advocate for changing the system and giving more support to those who need it most.

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