Were you able to loosen those fetters this year, and if you were successful, how did you manage it? Did you accept outside help, or work alone? If you still feel that grasp of addiction or hurtful habits, what will you do differently in the year to come?
To be honest, this year has tempted me in a variety of ways. Losing our food stamps in September, though, finally pushed me over the edge. You see, they take the leftover doughnuts from the day back to the break room almost every night. And I have a gluten intolerance of an undiagnosed degree. And I’ve been poor. And hungry. And I have been eating gluten almost daily again. I keep trying to stop — keep trying to sit with the hunger. But I can’t. With everything else going on in life, I’ve been too ravenous, eating to stuff down my emotions. I’ve had wonderful people donate gluten free food (rice, potatoes, veggies, etc.), but I still end up succumbing to the soft, chewy goodness of free doughnuts. And cookies. And cakes. And just about anything else that I can’t pass up. Free macaroni and cheese? You betcha! Stuffing? Eaten it!
Considering this year I never observed Lent, I’ve scheduled a strict detox diet coming up in March. I’m going to get back to my gluten free habits. I’m going to cut back on the caffeine (of which makes up probably 50% of my blood currently). I’m going to cut out sugar. I’m even going to go as far as cutting out CHOCOLATE this coming March. If you know anything about me, you know that this is serious business. Keeping me locked up in the house business. I will be avoiding most electronic devices during this time, only handling whatever business is absolutely necessary to my affairs.
What word did you select to be your travelling companion in 2013? What gifts did this word bring? What word will you choose to guide you through 2014? What do you hope it will bring into your life?
I selected “journey” for my word for 2013, although “transformation” seemed to have other plans. So, we’ll go with the phrase “transformational journey.” I have learned a great deal about myself, my family, others, and the bigger picture this year. I have been giving the gift of change, even if I have been begrudging this gift for much of the year. I am choosing “recovery” for 2014. I want to recover the lost members of my family. I want to recover my health. I want to recover my career. I want to see my children recover from this incredible trauma. I want to see recovery for our family after a single person was able to single-handedly rend us apart.
In the midst of living, did you find moments to breathe? Were there moments that held you in the embrace of peace and quiet and pure contentment? Did these moments catch you by surprise or did you create the space for peace to find you?
Quite honestly, yes, I found incredibly surprising moments of peace during the year. They came in the form of watching a sunset with a cup of tea, losing myself in a good song, watching the children play with their friends, or simply enjoying the warmth of a soft blanket. I didn’t realize I could still feel at peace, even though my life had been plunged into turmoil.
