Excuse me while I get a little more authentic than usually — see there’s my internet persona, there’s my professional persona, and there’s my “IRL” persona. All three are true to who I am, yet all three are not the same. I’m a layered, complicated individual, and — darn it all (you didn’t really think I was going to go completely Dooce on you, did you) — I like it that way. My weekends away from the internet, my recent writer’s block, and a plethora of other things have made me stop to realize that I’m not focusing on myself in the way I had outlined at the beginning of the year. True, there’s only so much self-focusing a wife and mother of three children who works outside of the home can afford, but I feel that more and more of my time has shifted away from becoming the best version of Meredith I can be and gravitated towards “how can I help you today, sir/ ma’am?” Don’t interpret this the wrong way — I do want to help others and contribute to society for the greater good. But how the fudge am I supposed to make that happen when I’m still in a fragmented state of being?
I have several goals that I set for myself at the beginning of the year — I called them “resolutions,” as is so popular that the start of any year. The term “resolution” has come to mean something much more flighty when used in conjunction with the term “new year’s,” however, so I’m currently referring to them as goals because the intent behind them was not even slightly flighty. No, not at all. They were heavy. They were meaningful. Damn it (okay, perhaps a bit more Dooce-like after all), my goals mean something to me. I read all these inspirational posts, and I think, that’s exactly what I want to do with myself! I would also like to be that writer/ blogger who’s inspiring others to aspire to more than just the drudgery of the daily noise. I, too, want to wax poetic on a fairly regular basis, earning my place among the greats who’ve come before me. Why the hell should I settle for the meager bag of chips when I really crave a full course meal full of substance and nutritional value?
I’ve been know to tell people to dream big lately. Honestly, that’s the best way to do it. Why dream about driving a run-down used car when you can dream about driving the fancy, expensive car? Why should it matter if you don’t think you’ll ever, ever, EVER in your life get a shot to even see that fancy, expensive car in person — it shouldn’t. Dream big. Dreams are meant to add spice and motivation to life. And don’t let those little naysayers tell you otherwise.