Several thoughts to meditate upon crossed my mind this morning. Ultimately, it all pointed back to a main theme — dealing with disappointment and strife. Yet this was not what I had envisioned for 2012. I had envisioned growth, change, and cultivation. I had envisioned living the dream and really living — not just surviving the day to day. Today’s need to decline an apartment essentially compounding everything that’s occurred in the past few days, and an overwhelming sensation of defeat and loneliness washed over me. Is Mercury in retrograde again or something?
I’ve actually sat here with this in draft format for a few hours now. I’ve been overcoming the initial disappointment and frustration that came with my back-step into the land of the unknown — the land of uncertainty. I know that something will come along, but I want that something to come along right now. However, it serves as another reminder to take better care of myself and to cultivate the life I want to live.
It is so easy to get impatient. I know this with absolute certainty. I sit in a NICU every day and wonder when I will even see an end in sight. We haven’t reached that point yet. I know I need to be patient. So I try to live in the moment…which is hard for a planner and dreamer like me.
Somehow, we’ll make it through these challenges. I thrive on love and support. You have mine. Hugs, Meredith!
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I hope things will improve for you sooner rather than later, Meredith! Hold your vision. I’ve learned that progress is often slow, and patience really is a virtue. You have a big heart, talent, commitment, and a lovely family. In time everything else will fall into place! Hugs, Robin
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