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Mindful Monday: Digital Sabbaticals

Recently I’ve been noticing a pattern of escapist activity permeating my daily routine. As such, I had begun considering a digital sabbatical — and when Gwen Bell asked for feedback about digital sabbaticals, I knew it was time to get serious. She asked several key questions:

Describe the moment at which you decided you needed to unplug.
In the past, I have taken a few weekend sabbaticals because I was tired of wasting time on the Internet on my days off of work. I wanted to enhance the quality of my time and get a break from the glowing screen. Now, I’ve got way too much noise — digital and otherwise — in my life at the moment. I plug in, and I’m assaulting with all sorts of noise. Some of the noise is good, some of the noise is bad, and some of the noise is just noise. Sometimes, the digital noise serves as a means to escape the real life noise. Shutting off the digital noise will give me time to sort through offline noise — and to find ways to minimize or better manage it.

How long were you unplugged?
Previously, I only unplugged for two to three days at a time. When I say “a weekend sabbatical,” I absolutely mean it was a weekend deal. I’m considering a full week this time around — I really don’t feel comfortable going longer than seven days at this given point in time, and I feel that seven days should be sufficient for me to get my head straight.

Were there moments you cheated?
Oh, definitely! The first digital sabbatical I took, I popped into my Gmail because I was expecting an email from my mother. I didn’t plan to answer it, but I wanted to read it before the weekend was over. I think I also snuck onto Facebook to respond to a private message — but I didn’t scroll through my feed. Also, I still signed in to complete my daily online sudoku and crossword puzzles — I treated those the way I would have treated their printed newspaper versions.

Who supported you during your digital sabbatical?
Basically, my husband was my support. I wasn’t taking the sabbatical for anyone other than my husband and kids, and the kids weren’t particularly conscious of their indirect support. My husband, however, knew I was intending to stay offline and provided encouragement.

What do you wish you’d done differently during the sabbatical?
I wish I’d been completely faithful and stayed out of my inbox. Trust me when I say that during this seven day sabbatical I have no intentions of entering my inbox. When I say it’s been too noisy, I absolutely mean it. Really, I can’t go outside without being bombarded by noise. The current cicada invasion can get rather loud, in fact.

Will you take another one? Why?
I’m planning one within the next few days because I’ve become far too dependent upon digital activities to fill my day. However, said activities aren’t producing results — said activities only serve to distract me and waste my precious time. Each rabbit hole adds to my internal thought processes, and much like a computer I’m beginning to run sluggish with all my running processes.

What surprised you most about unplugging?
Actually, it was like going through withdrawals from any other addiction (or at least, from what I’ve read — my vice of choice is chocolate, I can stop any time I want, but I simply choose not to). After a day, though, it was much easier than I expected.

What insights did you gain about yourself by taking a digital sabbatical?
Honestly, I didn’t gain any of insights I didn’t already know — I already knew back in 2004 that I have an Internet addiction. This was before Twitter. This was when Facebook was so exclusive, not every university or college was available on it yet. You definitely needed a .edu email address in order to sign up. This was when LiveJournal was still all the rage (actually, it was one of my time suckers). I do notice my habits and patterns, but the Internet itself is a useful tool. I just need to moderate myself better. I can’t spend hours on end researching and reading about a subject that fascinates me, nor can I spend hours on end socializing via binary. There are walks to be taken, sunshine to be absorbed, dreams to be dreamt, water to be drunk, books to be read, and all sorts of wonderful offline activities in which to partake.

Expect an announcement within the next few days — of course, it may not be much different to my blog readers, but my friends list and Twitter followers will definitely notice my absence.

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May’s Reverb 11 Prompt

If you participated in Reverb 10 during December of last year, are any of the things you wanted to manifest in 2011 revealing themselves?

Write your response—privately or publicly. Tumblr it. Take a photo and post on Flickr with the tag “reverb11.” Draw it out. The prompt is yours to flip it on its head, answer it as-is or make up your own prompt.

Cali Harris of Caligater fame inspired me to dive deeper into my reflections, which lead to reviewing several reverb posts, answering questions, and noticing patterns. Last night, armed with a bright green pen and my trusty notebook, I jotted down my thoughts as I sat with my thoughts and creativity. Here’s what I uncovered:

I had wanted to manifest a life worth living. I wanted to be my own boss. I wanted to take better care of myself and my family. I wanted to stop dreaming and start doing. Well, that’s a lie — I’ll still dream, but the point stands that one must do in order to achieve. Thus far, I’ve made time to walk, dance, practice yoga, and attempt to tone and strengthen my muscles. I haven’t answered to a boss, but that’s mainly due to my continued unemployment. This does not translate to being a successful entrepreneur, and I’ve spent much more time in quadrants 1, 3, and 4 in the importance/ urgency matrix. By the time I’ve finished with everything that’s urgent, I’m left with little energy to do much more than escape to trivial activities. In my response to the February prompt, I asked where this year is going. Gretchen Rubin’s observation that the days are long but the years are short has rung all too true for me during the first five months of 2011. I need to make more time to follow my dreams, or I need to make peace with the status quo. There is no excuse for sitting in a puddle of unhappiness day after day.

But where would I like to go? I asked this both literally and figuratively back in March. Literally, I’ve begun to appreciate the area we have moved to. I bore witness to the beautiful snow-covered mountains and the flowering trees. So, I decided to search around and see what the houses around here look like. I stumbled onto this “unusual find” and realized the dream could in fact be had here. I’ve also become enamored with the locals and their ties to an era of which my ancestors missed prior to immigrating. Alternatively, I’ve discovered that this area — like any — has its own issues and flaws. Politics inflame the locals, and I imagine home-ownership would remove my sheltering from said issues at hand. Still, I simply want the house, the land, and the views that feed my body and soul so that I can live the dream. I haven’t stopped dreaming of New Hampshire just yet, but I have been challenged to review my reasons for dreaming about it. Given the current circumstances, I’m just more concerned with the next step and less with the end goal. Of course, it’s really all about the journey, NOT the destination anyway.

I still ask myself where life is taking me and what the future holds in store. I still ask myself daily if I’m doing the right thing. I’ve realized to an extent that current discomforts will fade into unpleasant memories. My gardening endeavors resulted in a few tomatoes and sugar snap peas getting planted — and so far I’ve only seen half the garden grow. It’s like an external manifestation about how I feel in life right now. I have several packets of seeds that may never know the soil’s richness, and only about half the seeds I’ve planted seem to be thriving. The harvest looks grim, which is to the advantage of the grocery store. I have identified several personal factors holding me back. Said factors lead me to drift through life, and I’m working to identify ways to overcome these obstacles.

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April’s Reverb 11 Prompt

What’s blossoming?

This prompt is yours to use as you like: answer it as-is on your blog, create a vision board, share your response in conversation with a loved one, make a short film. Get creative. Change the prompt as you like. Enjoy.

Peach blossoms. Cherry blossoms. Red buds. Wild flowers. Azaleas. Roses. Gorgeous landscapes. Alas, I wasn’t swift enough to capture the beauty that blossomed around me. However, I did manage to capture lush, green landscapes — sans any tropical foliage. I’d become accustomed to the palm trees, the live oaks, and the cypress trees. It was pedestrian. For most, it’s a dreamy landscape made of dreams. For me, it was the same old, same old. I missed the splendor of spring. I missed how a cold, barren landscape (I’m repeating that word a lot, aren’t I?) would bloom into vivid, vibrant colors. You know that spring green crayon in your box of crayons? It’s aptly named — the fresh, new leaves have this gorgeous shade of yellowish green that seems to signify the start of warmer weather, longer days, and fresh fragrances wafting through the air.

But the local flora wasn’t the only thing blossoming. Oh no — spring is a time for flora AND fauna! The horses down the road added a couple foals to the herd. Those quarter horses and saddlebreds consistently fool me into thinking they’re Chincoteague ponies with their gorgeous (another repeated word here) markings. The filly — or so I can tell — has gotten her land legs, but she’s still a bit wobbly. Why, just the other day she finally came up to the fence and sniffed my hand for the first time. Her warm breath gently tickled the back of my hand as I stood motionless, softly assuring her that I meant her no harm. Her mother took some long stalks of grass from my hand this time, too. The filly wouldn’t bite, but it’s to be expected. She’s still learning about the world around her.

And now for some unedited photographic illustrations!

(Okay, so this last one required some cropping to remove address identification…)

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Critical Mass

On Tuesday afternoon, my laptop began experiencing serious problems with two of my most used programs — Mozilla Thunderbird and FireFox. A couple of hard restarts and several troubleshooting sessions later, I’m realizing I need to talk to Dell again to see if there’s something wrong with the hardware. I will most likely resort to backing up my files to an external hard drive and wiping the slate clean. However, the damage has been done. The epiphany has manifested. I am not in the right place in order to make my dreams come true. This is the last sign to cement that. This move has not been the beneficial boost to my life that it was promised to be. The first quarter of 2011 has been marred by disappointment, regret, frustration, and depression. I thought this was my year to focus on becoming self-employed. I was wrong. I’m reprioritizing and finding that  above all else I must do everything I can to move my family into our own space once again. Retail and food industry no longer appear as unappealing as they did on January 1st. In fact, I hope I have more luck hunting for such jobs in this area than I did in a college town. I don’t see why a manager should be turned off by my degree. Just because one assumes I’ll be unhappy working in that position for very long shouldn’t mean a thing. Do they ask themselves the same question when considering high school students? I imagine they wouldn’t be content to work such a job forever, either, you know.

I had my opportunity to make my dreams come true before committing to this move. I just didn’t have the faith required to make it happen. I wasn’t willing to hold out hope that Congress would approve another unemployment extension. I assumed my funding would run out, forcing me to make the decision to leave behind that life and pull out a few tricks. I had a market in all the students attending UF. I had a market in the professors teaching at UF. Here, most of the locals likely can’t afford my tutoring fee. Here, I’m fairly isolated. And while my dreamer’s mind is telling me that I’m merely making excuses, the part of my mind that’s unraveling tells me that my soul isn’t being nourished in this current environment. If I don’t have the strength to overcome the sensation of defeat, how am I going to manage building my business? Quite frankly, I’ve been trying for over 3 months to take that time, and all my plans — from silly dinner plans to the bigger things — are blowing up in my face. I need to get my family moved into our own place, and I need to feel more secure before I can return to this dream.

My writing here will be more about a creative outlet and less about planning a business. I’ll likely feel a little less guilt about neglecting my blog as often as I do.

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March’s Reverb 11 Prompt

If March 2011 was your last month to live, how would you live it?

This prompt is yours to use as you like: answer it as-is on your blog, take a series of photos that represent your response, get out finger paints and go crazy, write a poem, or reflect privately in your journal. Be as creative or as simple in your response as you see fit.

Spring arrived in Northwest Georgia early this month, bringing with it beautiful, blossoming trees and pale, tiny spring green leaves. I missed my opportunity to capture the beauty of the peach blossoms, but I still managed to capture some white cherry blossoms and fuchsia dogwoods (or perhaps they’re redbuds — but I’m not sure). Seeing these deciduous trees coming back to life with such vivid, lovely colors.

(Please note: I have no idea whose houses I’ve photographed, but I either thought the house was beautiful or the trees were beautiful.)

If tonight were to be my last night, I admit I’d go to the grave filled with many regrets. However, I could find solace in the beauty I’ve witnessed spring back to life during this month.

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February’s Reverb 11 Prompt

One month into 2011, what question(s) are you living?

  • Am I doing the right thing?
  • What do I need to be doing in order to achieve my goals and dreams?
  • Where is life taking me?
  • What does the future hold?

Are there any prompts/questions that arose during #reverb10 that are still resonating in your life?

I’m still living with my defining moment, achievement, ordinary joys, travel, avoidance, appreciation, action, 11 things (decluttering), beautiful differences, community, making, letting go, writing hindrances, and one word. I know, that probably looked like a run-on sentence with a bit of grammatical inconsistencies. To start, my disappointment with 2010 has thus far carried over into 2011. It seems like nothing is going right, and the first two months of 2011 haven’t been captured by success as I’d hoped they would be. I’m still in the same situation in regards to my writing that I was in when I responded to that prompt. Letting go in general has been a theme thus far. In regards to making something, I plan to plant a fruit, vegetable, and herb garden – granted, I have been planning this for a few weeks. I really must get some potting soil so I can begin planting the seeds indoors before transferring to the garden. The sooner we can reap the benefits, the better.

I live in a new community in which the people are so friendly. The expression of “southern hospitality” is not dead to this community. Additionally, I’m unique in this town – incredibly unique, in fact. I’m not southern. I don’t identify myself as southern, nor do I identify with the subculture. I’m a New York born woman with a flair for flower hair clips, glittery eye make-up, rock and techno, and some progressive ideas stereotypical of liberalism. When the locals in their baseball hats, boots, dirty jeans, and camo jackets see me, I can feel them mentally scratching their heads.

Decluttering, and the need to do so, still very much presents itself in my day-to-day routines. My days feel marked by lack of progress and inaction. We were asked what our next step was. Indeed – what is my next step? I’ve realized that some of what Gretchen Rubin says about good enough being better than the perfect that never manifests is incredibly relevant to my personality quirks. I still avoid doing a lot, and I’ve been avoiding writing because some days I feel like I’m not worth reading. Ordinary joys are the things carrying me through life right now because without them life looks dark and bleery. Appreciation ties in with ordinary joys. I have a strong appreciation of ordinary joys, for example.

I still really want to achieve my goals and dreams of becoming an English consultant, tutor, writer, and editor. I’m still not working towards it as much as I should and wish I could. I’m having less worries about last year’s failings and woes while becoming much more involved and concerned with the present’s problems. I’m hoping to plan trips to Florida for two different 10 year high school reunions, and I want to begin plans for a 10 year anniversary trip to the Keys. I really want to visit Chattanooga and Atlanta.

Are you living new questions?

  • What’s holding me back?
  • Why am I allowing myself to drift?
  • How can I overcome the obstacles in my path?
  • Where would I like to go?
  • Where have the first two months of 2011 gone?

 

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Foodie Friday: Strawberry Cupcakes

Back in December, Annie of Annie’s Eats inspired me to make strawberry cupcakes for Valentine’s Day. In the past few years, I’ve been trying to cultivate a family tradition of eating lots of strawberries on Valentine’s Day. February marks the start of strawberry season in Florida, so they were readily available to me. In fact, Plant City was maybe a two hour drive south of Gainesville — and the labels usually indicated that’s about as far as they traveled to get to my home. So a recipe calling for lots of strawberries jumped right out at me. I love strawberries. Brian loves strawberries. Our children love strawberries. This was the perfect sweet treat for our “strawberry fest.”

I used Annie’s strawberry cupcake recipe from last December. Instead of milk, I used heavy cream because for some reason that’s what I thought her recipe called for while writing the shopping list. Also, I pureed the strawberries before mixing them into the batter. Finally, I added 5 drops of red food coloring to bring out that pink color I was looking for. For the frosting, I selected her original strawberry cupcake frosting recipe. Again, I tweaked it — I can’t help it, it’s in my nature to experiment in the kitchen! I increased the pureed strawberries to one whole cup, and I whipped in a cup of heavy cream to increase the volume. (Okay, and because I love fluffy whipped frosting!) Overall, these cupcakes have been a big hit. Thank you Annie for the recipes and the inspiration!

Strawberry Cupcake

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Thankful Thursday: Early Spring

I know what you’re thinking. Wasn’t she looking forward to winter? Didn’t she say she missed the snow? Yes and yes — you’re absolutely right. I did say that. I was excited for sweater and scarf weather. I was excited for snow. I enjoyed it thoroughly, and I embraced the fact that it was more than I had enjoyed in several years. However, the sunshine, fresh air, and 60 degree weather has invited me to lounge by the window, send the kids out into the backyard to play, and even head outdoors myself. This weather brings planting season, which means I can start a fruit and vegetable garden in the backyard with my family. I would greatly appreciate going into the yard to pluck delicious, fresh food to feed to my family. Smelling the fresh mountain air has done wonders for my outlook on life as of late. I’ll admit this move has taken quite a toll on my psyche, and I’m more than ready for a change of pace. This weather has offered me that. Spring might not be technically due until next month, but I can tell that it’s here to stay in Northwest Georgia.

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