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#Cultivate2012 Letting Go

Letting Go: What do you need to let go of to cultivate your best life in 2013?

I need to let go of my fears to cultivate my best life in 2013. I’m staring across a large canyon, trying to determine how best to cross it. I can’t climb down into the abyss — not with a husband and three kids counting on me. I can’t leap across — I don’t know if I’ll make it or fall down on the jagged rocks below. I don’t know if I have the resources and means to bridge that gap. I need to explore my options — but more importantly, I need to overcome my fears.

I’m afraid of failure. I’m afraid that no one will want to pay me for a grammar workshop or eCourse. I’m afraid no one wants an English tutor or consultant. I’m afraid that I’m going to be stuck working for someone else’s vision for the rest of my life. I’m afraid I’m not good enough to make a life worth loving. But most of all, I’m afraid that my fears will stop me from realizing my dreams.

I’m letting go of those fears right now. I know I can cultivate the resources necessary, and I know I can find creative ways to cross this huge canyon. I can realize my dreams and spit squarely in the face of fear.

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#Cultivate2012 Lesson

Lesson: We may have started this year with the best of intentions, but plans may have gone awry. What lesson really jumped out at you this year? How can you cultivate that lesson going forward?

My biggest, most challenging lesson to learn this year was relinquishing control to the unknowns. Life happens, and sometimes we can’t prepare for these unexpected variables. We can try to be ready, but we can’t control life. When I began to let go of my need for control, I started to feel lighter and more ready to face my days.

Now, I’m stubborn. I form habits and tend to fall back into old habits easily. Cultivating a lifestyle of less control will continue to be a challenge going forward. My father-in-law once told a former therapist that I “control the way the world spins.” I think he meant to say I feel the need to control the way the world spins, and he’s actually made a fairly accurate observation of my control-freak nature. When things don’t go just right, I get grouchy. I’ve had to really stop, remind myself that other human beings and animals have wills of their own, and take a deep breath. Mechanical features fail with or without warning. Other people’s choices may touch my own life. Considering I’ve done well to cultivate gratitude and happiness by listing my daily gratitudes, acknowledgments, and happinesses, I’m sure I could practice releasing my need for control over too many aspects of life.

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#Cultivate2012 Reframing

Reframing: How are you framing yourself, your relationships, your community, and your dreams? Could you reframe these as we enter 2013?

I’ve been working on the frames I assign to myself and the various facets of my life. Most days I frame myself as a capable woman who’s resourceful enough to make life work. Other days, my frame darkens and reflects a very miserable individual stuck in a deep, dark chasm.

I’ve framed my relationships as broken and dysfunctional. Instead of viewing them as such, I might reframe them as works in progress or in need of TLC. If something seems broken or dysfunctional, it should be fixed and given better functioning.

I viewed my community as a back-water, middle-of-nowhere location until this summer. I began reframing it as a cozy, quiet rural community that’s close enough to Chattanooga for my urban needs. I’ve also noticed areas in our county that need some life injected back into them. I’ve been inspired by a local philanthropist who’s breathed new life into downtown Lafayette and built a classy restaurant, an adorable tavern, and renovated the historic Mars Theater.

So during 2013, I’m going to frame everything as needing cultivation. Cultivating is an ongoing process that always leaves room to nurture bonds and growth.

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#Cultivate2012 Time

Time: Time is a valuable resource. Did you spend your time wisely this year? What can you do to cultivate more quality in your time during 2013?

Looking back on my time during 2012, I know I took the time to make necessary life changes that have given me a better quality of life. I didn’t spend every waking moment in the best ways possible, but I did think more carefully about my choices when I did. I made time for fun and recreation, too.

During 2013, I can choose to work around my variable schedules. I’ve done well enough to manage the basics this year — now I need to add in other activities. On some days, I need to focus more on my sleep, my marriage, and my children when the work day is over. Other days I’ll have more time to add in gentle movement. On days off, I shouldn’t waste my time sitting around being lazy. I will be more mindful of how I’m spending my time. And if I feel like sitting around being lazy, I’ll take that as my cue for a nap. I don’t need to stare at a screen when my body craves closed eyelids.

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#Cultivate2012 Path

Path: Some times the best path chooses you. — Patrick Rhone What path chose you this year?

Cultivate chose me. The call to cultivate my life into something worth loving, to feel like I’m thriving, beckoned me. I was frustrated with the status quo of my circumstances and situation. I lived my life with regret, depression, resentment, anger, anxiety, and tension. My health and relationships degraded. I needed to stop living with that negativity and start focusing on my health and well-being. I needed to listen to the signs and symptoms my body was presenting. I needed to focus on my relationships and dreams. I felt broken and alone — I lived in a house with six other people, but I still felt loneliness.

I may not have made any head way with my business ideas, but I’ve realized I’m very fortunate regardless. I found that I have enough within myself to clear this untrodden path. It’s taken a lot of time — and will continue to take time — to hack down the brush and carve my way to my destiny. Yet, I’ve come to terms with this fact and have made peace with the process of this journey. My path has brought me the foresight to enjoy the process instead of stressing about the length of my journey. I’m cultivating my life worth loving one day at a time, and I’m going to take each day as they come.

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#Cultivate2012 Reflection

Reflection: What did you set out to accomplish this year? What have you done to cultivate your goals and your life? Did your intentions manifest during the year?

Last December I began cultivating an idea for my own project and prompts — a project dedicated to cultivating happiness, sense of self, healthy relationships, and realized dreams. I named it Cultivate 2012, and I set out to make my life one worth living. Later in the year I revised my premise to a life worth loving instead. Along the way I wanted to move out of my in-laws’ house and into a space of our own. April 1st gave us the gift of a renewed sense of hope in the form of just that — our coveted home.

This year has been marred by ill health, depression, and anxiety. Through self-experimentation, I discovered that I’m gluten intolerant. I’ve made very big lifestyle changes to accommodate my body’s needs — and got a welcomed surprise on the scale. August brought us a vehicular break down, leaving us to depend on the kindness of others. That kindness of others forged bonds between my family and some of the members of our community. I grew attached to my community and felt at home.

Autumn has transformed me. I practice writing daily lists of gratitude, acknowledgments, and happiness. This practice increased my feelings of contentment and peace. My ambitions felt renewed, and I’ve followed through with my plans to write a prompt series for December. Here we are on December 1st with a list of 31 prompts. While I recall expecting life to make a dramatic 180 on January 1st, I can tell you that my intentions have more than manifested during the last 335 days. I found a place that fit our needs and budgets and signed on the line. I formed routines that bring me a sense of loving the life I’m living. It’s not perfect — nor will it ever be. However, I’m cultivating that life worth loving, and I’m going to continue to cultivate my life.

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#ThankfulThursday #LiveTheList Challenge

 

You may recall I decided to participate in Nicki’s Live the List Challenge. Here’s the list, with our completed aspirations crossed off:

  • Have a picnic at Crawfish Springs
  • Take a day-trip to Atlanta
  • Go to AWA (Anime Weekend Atlanta)
  • Go bowling
  • Move into our own place
  • Fix the van (Mind you, part of it was forced)
  • Work towards getting Meredith a license to drive
  • Visit Florida
  • Explore Chattanooga
  • Get White Castle (NOT the freezer aisle stuff)
  • Go to the mall in Chattanooga
  • Hold a Cultivate 2012 conference
  • Pay down our debt
  • Transfer some or all credit card debt to a 0% introductory APR card
  • Make Electrate Editorials a viable business
  • Go to the moves as a family and/ or as a couple
  • Find a local place that sells orange blossom honey
  • Test out local pizzerias
  • Try Choo Choo BBQ
  • Go to One-Eleven
  • Make muffins with Tati
  • Teach Rob how to cook
  • Rob wants to learn how to hit two baseballs with one bat
  • Teach Tati how to jump rope
  • Take the kids to a baseball game
  • Potty train Brian Jr.

It doesn’t look like much, but it was a fun year — and we still have an entire month left in 2012 to accomplish more goals. Whatever we don’t get to this year will be added to next year’s list. We definitely want to keep trying to live up to Nicki’s challenge, and we were very grateful to cross off wishes on our list.

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Happy Birthday, @mrsmediocrity!

Today, the very talented Kelly Letky turns 50. That’s quite a milestone to celebrate, and I’d like to celebrate with her. She exudes such wisdom through her poems and carefully sown words. So let’s raise a glass, grab a slice of cake, and celebrate in honor of a great writer and woman!

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#MondayMeditations Culmination

As 2012 draws to a close and my Cultivate 2012 December Evaluation nears, I feel compelled to wrap up my year. After all, next month’s going to be busy — Cultivate prompts, working extra hours, preparing for holiday celebrations with my family, etc. This year was about identifying that which wasn’t nurturing me and taking steps to change them. It was about changing the frames I put on every aspect of my life. It was about altering my perspective. It was about taking time to worry about my health and well-being. I halted work on a lot of projects from about March through August. I’m still reluctant to move forward until I’ve gotten my own priorities with regards to my Cultivate project settled. I need clarity and centering before I can move forward on a lot of my ideas.

This year also brought with it some much needed change. Last year was about surviving a difficult period of time. This year has been about thriving after the devastation. It’s painful to reflect on, but it must be remembered — that chapter of my life has encouraged me to build safety nets into my life to prevent such unpleasantness ever again. Hitting the bottom sucks. I know my family isn’t the first (or last) family to suffer through such a rough patch, and that’s why I want to offer hope to anyone who may be dealing with the distress of losing your home, packing up, and moving in with relatives. It won’t last forever, and you will regain your foothold in life. It will test your very being, and it will test your relationships. Don’t worry. You can survive. The culmination of your strife will taste bittersweet, but it will feel like a great relief.

It’s been quite a year, and I think I’m content with how it’s gone. 2012 has cleared my path and given me inspiration to pursue my dreams. I’m looking forward to evaluating my year next month, and I’m looking forward to everything 2013 will bring.

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#ThankfulThursday Happy #Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all my U.S. readers! Today’s the set day in our country for which we sit down with family and friends over big meals to give thanks for all that we have. My family celebrated on Tuesday because I was scheduled to work today, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still going to observe the tradition of thankfulness on this day celebrating gratitude. Here’s a list of all the things I’m thankful for this year:

  • We have our very own place to call our own, with our very own kitchen that we don’t have to share with anyone else.
  • I’m still employed and helping my family regain our financial foundation.
  • Our van still works and provides us the mobility to get from Point A to all our other points in life.
  • My children are more than spoiled by relatives — they have much to be thankful for (and to clean up).
  • We’re enjoying four seasons.
  • My community loves and supports us.

May your Thanksgiving (or ordinary Thankful Thursday) be a day of appreciation and gratitude!

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