Author: Meredith

This marks my two hundredth post — amazing. Today is a day for mindfulness and gratitude most definitely. I’ve got a wonderful family to be thankful for. I’ve got a roof over our heads, and I hope to keep it that way (lest we forget V-Day 08). I’m very blessed to have all these wonderful people and things in my life. I’m also learning to be much more mindful in my daily routines. I actually stop to think about things. Did you know spring is right around the corner here? Yesterday, I noticed tiny leaf buds on tree branches, which means we’ll be enjoying those spring green leaves within a week. Not too long afterwards, we will be enjoying the azaleas blooming with lovely shades of pinks, purples, and whites. Perhaps we’ll be lucky enough to enjoy a reasonable stretch of open-window weather before we skip into the blistering hot summer.

So on this day that celebrates love, I hope that you find happiness within your heart — regardless of your relationship status. On this day that celebrates the Chinese new year, I hope that wealth resides in your future. On this day of mindfulness, I hope you are able to really think about life, yourself, and everything in between. On this day, find the little things that make you smile. Find the things to be grateful for. Enjoy life.

Each year I come up with a Lenten vow to both “celebrate” Lent and to better myself. This year, I have decided to give up all junk food — with the exception of cake and ice cream on my daughter’s birthday. First of all, I’ve been binging entirely too much on cookies, chips, brownies, candy, etc. Would it kill me to substitute something unhealthy with, say, a fruit or vegetable? I don’t think so. Secondly, I’m supposed to be losing pregnancy pounds. I’m not doing very well so far, and I doubt I’ll do any better if I don’t curb the unhealthy habits. Finally, I need to be putting good, healthy food into my body so I can function properly. Sugar and sodium do not make for a good, healthy body. Vitamins and minerals, however, will help me to feel more human and less like a zombie. So from Wednesday, February 17th until Sunday, April 4th (Easter), I will not eat any junk food. Should we have Panera at work, I will neither eat a chocolate duet cookie with walnuts nor eat a bag of chips. Should we have Macaroni Grill at work, I will cry instead of eating the tiramisu — oh, I will sob! I will not bake cookies just because I want to turn the oven on. I will eat extra veggies in soups. I will rely on healthier snack options, like low fat pumpkin bread and low fat/ high fiber/ high protein peanut butter banana muffins. No more 400 calorie brownies. No more ice cream. Nada! This unhealthy nonsense has got to stop.

[February 10th] Come Together/Fall Apart: “We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart.” – Pema Chödrön

That’s a very wabi-sabi statement. Don’t believe me? Check out Leonard Koren’s book, which was required reading for my first class with Dr. Gregory Ulmer. With the aid of that book, I was able to design a “United Statesian” philosophy and discover my own emblem. If you read that book from cover to cover, you will find that Chödrön’s statement absolutely fits with the wabi-sabi concept. How’s that for mindfulness — bringing my education full circle and being the teacher in a sense. Granted, I’m clearly still very much the student in the equation.

That statement also seems to fit my life. You see, life for me is like a roller coaster at times. Good times give way to bad times, and bad times give way to good times. Finances get tight, finances get comfortable. The kids throw tantrums, the kids say the sweetest things. Life just seems to ebb and flow that way. During the times when everything seems to be simultaneously falling apart, I get through it by reminding myself that it won’t stay that way — that the pieces will fit back together again in time. It’s a good way to practice patience and mindfulness.

I’m grateful for my annual new sneakers. I love how bright and wonderful the look fresh out of the box. I love the process of breaking them in, although I tend to be very ginger about getting them scuffed, dirty, or wet when they’re brand new. I like the look and feel of brand new shoes. They’re fabulous

I’m also grateful for having a friend in my bus driver. I was telling her how I had the bus GPS tracker loaded up and noticed I could’ve made the earlier bus to go home and eat earlier. I was very hungry today for whatever reason — I suspect my body was spoiled by the early lunch yesterday — and really would’ve loved to have made it home on time. First she offered me a piece of fruit, and I politely declined because I didn’t want to steal her lunch/ snacks. Then she offered me mixed, organic nuts. “They’re full of protein!” So, I accepted a couple handfuls. Mmm, almonds! I certainly do love almonds. So, I had a little snack to take the edge off thanks to my wonderful friend (who just so happens to be the bus driver, too).

While recording attendance for last week’s seminar, I paused to read the name and recall the face of the student if I knew them, attempting to gain a better recognition for when I see the students in my office, in the hallways, or even off campus. I took note if I had any preconceived notions of a particular student. For example, a few students I associate as being unpleasant. I would stop to reflect on why I considered the student unpleasant, thinking in the context of the encounters with the students. I found that I associated some students as much more pleasant to recall than others and also reflected on why I have that preconceived notion. It was a great exercise in mindfulness, and I also took a moment to realize that I was projecting certain annoyances onto several students. In the future, I will definitely be making an effort to separate people from situations as best as possible.

[February 9th] Observation Journal: Keep an observation journal. Write once a day – something you’ve observed in your mindfulness practice. Do it daily, digital or paper.

How fortuitous for me! The lovely Gwen Bell has made a suggestion for another blog writing series (although I can translate it to paper just as well). Look forward to an additional blog series, “Observation Journal.” This will mean on any given day, I could post up to three different posts: a gratitude post, a mindfulist post, and/ or an observation journal post.

I am grateful that bed time is fast approaching because today is a day that I would’ve preferred to have spent napping. I’m not necessarily feeling to well, and I’m also noticing my spellchecker isn’t working properly — very bad for when I’m prone to typographical errors. I’m grateful that I’ll soon be consuming a bad of macaroni and cheese, and I’m grateful that I’ll possibly even attempt from-scratch brownies (it should take 5 minutes max to throw some ingredients in a bowl — the oven can do the hard work). I’m extra grateful for the baked eggplant slices I have for sandwiches this week. All it took was a little slicing, breading, baking in the oven, and a nice storage container. I made some wheat rolls to eat them on, although I apparently still have a long way to go in terms of baking wheat bread. Luckily I don’t have to do anything when the bread is supposed to be rising — it’s not like I have to sit and babysit the dough as it rises. I’m grateful for episodes of Good Eats in which Alton Brown utilizes those magnificent sock puppets. That guy is absolutely hilarious.

I realize this is probably the most disjointed piece I’ve written in a while, but I took a weekend off of writing. Let’s say I was using the time to be more mindful, even if it didn’t quite work out that way. It’s the effort that counts, isn’t it?

I am grateful for moments of mental clarity.
I am grateful for good friends who give good advice.
I am grateful for this present moment.
I am grateful for Gwen Bell‘s blog challenge that brought me to this mindfulness journey.
I am grateful for knowledge.
I am grateful for love.
I am grateful for my “bubble buddy.” (Have I ever said how warm and fuzzy it feels to be considered bubble-worthy?)
I am grateful for all that I have.
I am grateful for the life experiences I’ve had.
I am grateful for those who’ve been there and share their wisdom on the subject.
I am grateful for people with a good sense of humor.

[February 5th] Knowledge: “All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions.” – Leonardo da Vinci

I’ve actually been getting a cosmic lesson in perception it would seem. Personally, I’m noticing a very big need to be more mindful of my perception of specific people and the way in which they affect me. I recently noticed an old resentment begin to flare up due to an awkward situation. Needless to say, I found myself dwelling on the past, worrying about how certain situations could arise, and generally wasting my time on people and things that didn’t deserve even a single ounce of that energy. I stopped myself and though, why are you doing this to yourself, [so-and-so] is NOT worth this anxiety, nor is [this person] worth the physical ramifications of my resentment! I had a moment of mindfulness and did my best to shift my focus to more important things, trying to be more present in the moment instead of the past or the future. I remembered that my mind can and will negatively affect my physical well-being (I have a wonderful chiropractor to thank for that knowledge — resentment = sciatica). I worked through a lot of old resentment that I was still carrying around, and I’m trying to be more mindful in a quest to identify factors that cause feelings of resentment, stop them, and retrain myself to react in a more positive manner. It is my knowledge — my perception — of myself, the people around me, the things around me, and the situations and circumstances occurring that cause my mind to effect my body. (The lovely “cause and effect” premise we all grew to love in grammar school!)

I guess this is probably the message all these “signs” are trying to send me — stop, think, reflect, retrain.

1. I am grateful that specific awkward situations will be easier to deal with due to a mutual understanding.
2. I am grateful that they completed the floor tiles in the women’s room finally. The novelty of getting extra exercise by walking upstairs to go to the bathroom had worn off this morning.
3. I am grateful that it’s almost the weekend again (I’m lacking in the sleep department again, as usual).
4. I am grateful for a nice mug of green tea during lunch.
5. I am grateful for the seemingly quiet day I’ve enjoyed.