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#Cultivate2012 Reflection

Reflection: What did you set out to accomplish this year? What have you done to cultivate your goals and your life? Did your intentions manifest during the year?

Last December I began cultivating an idea for my own project and prompts — a project dedicated to cultivating happiness, sense of self, healthy relationships, and realized dreams. I named it Cultivate 2012, and I set out to make my life one worth living. Later in the year I revised my premise to a life worth loving instead. Along the way I wanted to move out of my in-laws’ house and into a space of our own. April 1st gave us the gift of a renewed sense of hope in the form of just that — our coveted home.

This year has been marred by ill health, depression, and anxiety. Through self-experimentation, I discovered that I’m gluten intolerant. I’ve made very big lifestyle changes to accommodate my body’s needs — and got a welcomed surprise on the scale. August brought us a vehicular break down, leaving us to depend on the kindness of others. That kindness of others forged bonds between my family and some of the members of our community. I grew attached to my community and felt at home.

Autumn has transformed me. I practice writing daily lists of gratitude, acknowledgments, and happiness. This practice increased my feelings of contentment and peace. My ambitions felt renewed, and I’ve followed through with my plans to write a prompt series for December. Here we are on December 1st with a list of 31 prompts. While I recall expecting life to make a dramatic 180 on January 1st, I can tell you that my intentions have more than manifested during the last 335 days. I found a place that fit our needs and budgets and signed on the line. I formed routines that bring me a sense of loving the life I’m living. It’s not perfect — nor will it ever be. However, I’m cultivating that life worth loving, and I’m going to continue to cultivate my life.

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November #Cultivate2012

As I write this, I’ve finished all but two prompts for the December Cultivate 2012 prompt series. The series will cover ourselves, our relationships, our communities, our dreams, and our intentions for 2013. I have written the prompts so as to encourage and foster my aspirations, but I see room for others to benefit from the prompts as well — and that’s been my hope all along. I want other people to cultivate themselves and their lives as well because I desire to see others feel happiness. The world is a brighter place when we’re smiling at each other, encouraging each other, and coexisting peacefully. I’d like to see others nurture their relationships, communities, and dreams. We all need people to give us love and support. We need to build and cultivate our communities to see continued growth and progress. We especially need to believe in our dreams and take steps to living our dreams. Dreams are what keep us moving, in my humble opinion. I welcome everyone who reads this to join me on a journey to living a life worth loving.

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October #Cultivate2012

I’ve been asked about Cultivate 2012 after unveiling the mailing list, and I realized that maybe my #Reverb11 audience didn’t stick around to find out about the Cultivate series in January. So, I’d like to recap the Cultivate series a bit:

Cultivate is about growing as an individual and pursuing that which brings us happiness. It’s about taking the time to care for ourselves, our loved ones, and our environment (on both a micro and macro scale). Here’s how Merriam-Webster defines the word “cultivate:”

  1. to prepare or prepare and use for the raising of crops; also : to loosen or break up the soil about (growing plants)
  2. a : to foster the growth of (cultivate vegetables) b : culture 2a c : to improve by labor, care, or study : refine (cultivate the mind)
  3. further, encourage (cultivate the arts)
  4. to seek the society of : make friends with

Cultivate will consist of monthly prompts that involve checking in with ourselves and our intentions, as well as planning ahead. Cultivate will culminate in a month-long evaluation and planning phase each December, incorporating prompts and suggestions. There’s no pressure to complete each prompt, and there aren’t any rules — except to have fun and be kind to ourselves. Use the hashtags #cultivate, #cultivate12, and #cultivate2012 to share your responses if you choose to share them publicly.

When I began the Cultivate series in January, I wanted to share the experience with my readers — to encourage my readers to follow along with me on their own personal journeys of cultivation. By June I realized I wasn’t being a very good leader-by-example. I was practically ignoring my own aspirations to cultivate a life in which I’m thriving instead of simply surviving. I decided to name my personal Cultivate journey “Operation Summer Vacation” — a plan to cultivate a life everyday feels like summer vacation from those magical years of childhood. By the end of the summer, I found that I was putting too much pressure on myself to make leaps in my life. I’m recovering from a very difficult period in my life. I need gentleness and kindness,not impatience and rushing. I need moments of silence and solitude, focusing on the breath, releasing the thoughts and words — healing from within.

This has been my personal journey. Starting in December, I’ll begin a month-long evaluation and planning period. I invite you to join me. Sign up for the email list to receive the prompts.

 

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#Cultivate2012 September

I’ve spent this summer contemplating how I might go about making the leap from my life as-is to that ideal life I’m dreaming up. Crunching numbers and brainstorming ideas served only to further frustrate me, and I realized that I’ve been letting the road blocks in between me and my destination befoul the journey. I’m trying too hard to turn hobbies and passions into ways of life and a means to earn a living. I feel too pressured to make a giant leap in order to obtain my goals — but that’s too lofty and unreasonable. I’ve been too enveloped in the concept of “Leap Year” to look at the canyon I’m hesitating to leap across. Hesitation, frustration, and stagnation are NOT good ways to cultivate a fulfilling life.

So I’m again embracing the feeling of letting go. I’m letting go of the pressure to make things “happen.” I’m letting go of the pressure to pursue this to the extent that I’m breaking my heart. I’m going to let hobbies cultivate themselves into enjoyable hobbies — I’m going to write because I enjoy writing, NOT because I’m hoping to earn money by writing. I’m going to pursue other avenues of which I can continue to cultivate myself and my life in order to some day get to the point where I’m ready to pursue my big dreams. I’m not ready to take that leap. I need to scale down the canyon a bit further and find a better jumping off point. I can’t get to the bottom of that canyon — that would be a very dark, scary place — but I can afford to descend just a bit in order to get across to the point that makes life a bit more like the life I’ve been envisioning for years.

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#Cultivate2012 July: Taking Charge

This month I finally got things worked out to explore my health — and was only able to rule out the most obvious factor. My doctor and I had been operating under the pretense that my thyroid was enlarged and running sluggish. Blood work and an ultrasound both relieved my thyroid of all blame. Unfortunately, this left both my doctor and me very, very confused. A very visible — and palpable — mass still resides in my neck. Now we’re seeking out an ENT who’ll work with me to further explore what this thing is exactly.

Today I had an incredibly nasty flare-up. I may not have a name for this condition, but I can tell you that I do experience flare-ups. I spent much of the day processing everything internally, rehashing the same issues I’ve been rehashing since before beginning this project. I realized it’s time for another break from the same old vice — the digital noise. I’ve been rationalizing that I need to maintain my connection to the digital noise for the sake of business, but I really haven’t conducted business or contributed much in the way of constructive conversation lately.

So I’m going to unofficially sit it out for a couple of days. I need to focus more on gentle movement, writing, and being with myself — being quietly with myself, at that. My digital tethers make it hard for me to quiet my mind.

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#Cultivate2012 June : Operation Summer Vacation

I began the Cultivate 2012 project with the hopes of cultivating myself and living a better life. As each month rolled around, I felt more and more pressure to cater to my readers — to worry more about others instead of worrying about myself. That hasn’t been very cultivating for me, which doesn’t serve my purpose considering the nodule in my neck has grown persistently over the past few months. If I don’t stop and worry about *me* soon, there might not be much of a *me* to worry about at all. So instead of stressing about creating a prompt for my readers to follow, I’m simply going to report on my own progress/ regress and invite others to do some self-guided exploration of their year so far. Feel free to continue doing monthly self-guided exploration of your year on a self-determined basis (a week, a month, whatever suits you).

Back in April I read an article by Ashley Ambirge in which she encourages her readers to “name it.” “As in put a name on your ONE THING. Call it something. Give it an identity.” And so I did. I thought a lot about my dreams, about my desired lifestyle. I thought back to leisurely summer vacations, doing as I pleased, enjoying life on my terms, on my schedule. I thought about how freeing that felt. I thought about how much I anticipated summer vacation every school year, how much I dreaded returning to the early morning alarms and days spent inside a packed, over-air-conditioned building. I realized that I want to live every day like it’s summer vacation. I want to choose when I start my day, where I spend my days, and how I spend my days. If I want to live every day like I’m on summer vacation, I need to work hard now to cultivate that lifestyle. I need to create offerings and publish. I need to put myself out there. I don’t need to accept every gig and offer that comes my way, but I had better put myself out there to attract clients. I need to build my income — especially my passive income — so I can afford myself the luxury of lounging when I want/ need to. I need to spend enough time caring for myself so I can enjoy this life a little longer. Having a nodule growing on/ near your thyroid really changes your perspective on life, that’s for sure.

Distractions have surrounded me for the past couple of months. The much anticipated move — and the dreaded unpacking — took some of my attention. Honestly, my attention has been stretched in several directions. Moving out of a bad situation only highlighted other issues that much more, and there’s so much more to fix. My distraction drains my creativity, and I haven’t felt capable of producing quality, witty work. The realization that June’s nearing the half-way point forces me to make a choice — do what I love or settle. I hate settling (unless we’re talking about settling down in a space of my own). So I must choose to do what I love. I have to continue fighting, no matter the odds. I made a promise to myself on January 1st that this year would be different. That promise included nurturing myself, and I need to revisit that. I cannot live the dream if I’m always tired, dehydrated, and unwell. I must invest in myself and my future. It wouldn’t be selfish if I gave myself just a bit of love and care — and I shouldn’t feel that way. My family needs me. So I need to take care of me.

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#Cultivate2012 March Prompt and Outlook

Where I live, spring has come early. Spring is the perfect season for cultivation — the ground is thawing, rainstorms come to water the ground, and the sun stays out longer to shine down love and happiness. Gardeners head outside to weed, till the soil, and plant seeds. Here’s the March Cultivate 2012 prompt:

What would you like to weed out of your life? How can you till the soil of your life? What seeds would you like to plant this month?

I’d like to weed out some clutter that I don’t feel like packing and unpacking. Yes, I still have that decluttering project that I keep putting off in true procrastinator fashion. I’m digging through the dirt, turning everything over, in hopes of finding a good place to plant some seeds of serenity, sanctuary, and comfort. I’ve set an April 1st moving date in the hopes that local landlords will cooperate with regards to a new home that fits my needs and budget.

I have a lot of things planned for March. I’ll be crossing some items off of my List throughout this month. I’m looking forward to spring and all the new opportunities and freshness that comes with it.

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#Cultivate2012 End of February Review and Prompt

When February began, I said we’d be taking leaps. Here’s your prompt for today: What leaps did you take in February to cultivate yourself?

I began February with high hopes, but I seemingly missed my opportunities. Instead of throwing in the towel and abandoning my project, I’m choosing to turn the page on February and welcome March with a renewed sense of hope. We might not get do overs, but we do have the power to leave the past where it belongs. I may, however, abandon plans to hold a conference. I haven’t seen enough interest in the Cultivate 2012 project to warrant a conference this year, so I’m going to put those energies into other efforts. That’s not to say there couldn’t be a Cultivate 2013 conference.

The Cultivate 2012 project started as a means to help me help myself, with a tiny bit of hope that I could touch someone else’s life in the process. I’d be content at the end of the year if the only life I touch with this project is my own. If you’re content with your life as it is, by all means keep relishing it. But if you, like me, see room for improvement, take the time to be proactive and cultivate those improvements.

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#Cultivate2012 Self-Love

Happy Valentine’s Day, cultivators! Regardless of your opinions of the holiday, today is a great day to spend some time with yourself to take care of yourself — to cultivate that life you want to live. We’re mid-way through February, so it’s time to check in with ourselves to see how we’re progressing in our plans to cultivate ourselves. Here’s the mid-February Cultivate 2012 prompt:

Take some time today — a few minutes, an hour, whatever you can manage — to write a love note to yourself. Tell yourself what you love about you, and make a promise to yourself to take better care of yourself.

You don’t have to share what you come up with, but you do need to discipline that negative self-talk. Whatever negative thoughts come to mind need to be chastised with words of love and encouragement.

Edgewater Drive

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#Cultivate2012 February Prompt

Welcome to February 2012! This month is very exciting because we’ve got 29 whole days to work on cultivating ourselves, thanks to 2012 being a leap year. This month I want to take that word — leap — and absolutely leap with it. We’re going to take leaps to cultivate ourselves and our lives, and I’m very excited to share February 29th, 2012 with all of you. Here’s the February Cultivate 2012 prompt:

What leaps can you take this month to cultivate a life worth living? They say it takes baby steps, but let’s vigorously leap at the chance to life our lives to the fullest and make the most of our extra day this year.

This month I’m going to take a leap to finalize my plans for the Cultivate 2012 conference. I’m going to take a leap to invite some stellar people who I think will make this conference shine. I’m going to take a leap to take better care of myself — no more planning baby steps that I forget to take. I’m going to take a leap for myself and my family to finally make our financial situation one that can afford us the luxury of our very own place. I’m going to take a leap for myself and my business by getting the word out there and putting offerings, services, and products out there. I’m going to take a leap with my designs and my writing, and I’m going to wow all of you with dazzling words. My outlook for February calls for blue skies, puffy cumulus clouds, sunny days, and pleasant temperatures. My February calls for throwing up the sash, letting that fresh air breeze in, and further cultivating a life worth living.

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