I’ve spent this summer contemplating how I might go about making the leap from my life as-is to that ideal life I’m dreaming up. Crunching numbers and brainstorming ideas served only to further frustrate me, and I realized that I’ve been letting the road blocks in between me and my destination befoul the journey. I’m trying too hard to turn hobbies and passions into ways of life and a means to earn a living. I feel too pressured to make a giant leap in order to obtain my goals — but that’s too lofty and unreasonable. I’ve been too enveloped in the concept of “Leap Year” to look at the canyon I’m hesitating to leap across. Hesitation, frustration, and stagnation are NOT good ways to cultivate a fulfilling life.
So I’m again embracing the feeling of letting go. I’m letting go of the pressure to make things “happen.” I’m letting go of the pressure to pursue this to the extent that I’m breaking my heart. I’m going to let hobbies cultivate themselves into enjoyable hobbies — I’m going to write because I enjoy writing, NOT because I’m hoping to earn money by writing. I’m going to pursue other avenues of which I can continue to cultivate myself and my life in order to some day get to the point where I’m ready to pursue my big dreams. I’m not ready to take that leap. I need to scale down the canyon a bit further and find a better jumping off point. I can’t get to the bottom of that canyon — that would be a very dark, scary place — but I can afford to descend just a bit in order to get across to the point that makes life a bit more like the life I’ve been envisioning for years.
