Mindful Monday: Pay Attention with Respect and Interest

Over at The Mindfulist they asked a very valid question: what does it mean to pay attention with respect? First let me ask you some valid questions. How often do you find yourself in a conversation with a person, watching the person nod, rolling out “uh-huh,” “yeah,” and other such fillers? How do you feel when you can identify that a person is essentially not really listening to what you’re saying? Does it make you feel disrespected, boring, and possibly annoying? Now, how many times have you been guilty of the same? You’re rushed — you have a project due, you’re late for an appointment, something — and you’d prefer the interruption to be a short as possible. Of course, this can be very detrimental in both the short and long term in many regards. Perhaps you’re ignoring or being ignored by a spouse. Perhaps you and a co-worker need to work closely on a project. In so many cases, a failure to communicate properly can destroy relationships of all kinds.

So what does it mean to pay attention with respect and interest? Simple — when you’re having a conversation with someone, actually take the time to listen thoughtfully. Actually listen to the words, the vocal inflection, the facial expressions, and the gestures. When prompted to respond, respond thoughtfully. Don’t just nod, utter “uh-huh,” or say “yeah.” Actually take the time to thoughtfully respond with respect. Show interest in the person and the conversation. Think of that person who always listens and always knows the right things to say, and then learn from that person. Taking the time to listen and pay attention can make all the difference with regards to communication. And when something’s wrong? Never hesitate to ask the people in question to clarify a situation — nothing is quite as bad as allowing a miscommunication to destroy relationships and lives, no matter how trivial the damage may seem.