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Sick Week

I have been suffering from multiple infections since before Christmas, and unfortunately things kept piling on through the first full week of February 2012. I had thought I successfully beat back my bronchitis last week — only to discover a couple of days later that I had begun to relapse. One $50 doctor’s office visit, ~$20 worth of prescriptions, and 2 sick days off of work later, and I’m still trying to cough this bug out of my system. I also discovered that I truly do know my body best. My newly established primary care provider took the time to palpate my thyroid and informed me that it’s enlarged, a little more swollen on the right than the left.  I’ll be looking into getting blood work and an ultrasound done in order to determine the severity of my condition.

To spin this in a brighter light, I’ve been further motivated to extend myself more love and care — to cultivate a healthy lifestyle that fosters good health and promotes prevention. While I try to maintain a sense of prevention in my life, I could stand to do more to prevent illness. It’s time to ease up on myself and say “no” a little more often.

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November In Review

Let’s all assume we’re on the same page. As you can see, I didn’t post very much this month — including promised scheduled posts that never even got written, let alone went live. I had dedicated myself to rebuilding and focusing on discipline during November, and unfortunately I didn’t quite succeed in my endeavors. Different issues arose such that my attention was drawn away from my intentions. I began the month with the intention of writing a novel, and I backed out about 3 or 4 days into the challenge. I have an idea in my head of how I want this novel to read, and I have notes written — notes that are packed away in a box somewhere, waiting for me to find our own place. So, I decided to put that novel back on the shelf until a time in which I’m better able to write it. And do you know what? It’s all okay.

During November I’ve realized that there’s no reason to feel so much guilt over so many things. I have a lot of ideas in the air, and I’ve got a lot of responsibilities that I’ve taken on. So while I may not have shared as much discipline with regards to my writing as I wish I would have, I know that I applied discipline to the areas in which it mattered most. I’m a very family-oriented woman, and I want to enjoy my family life most of all. Most of my work focuses on making life easier so that I can spend more time with my family. I want to be an English consultant because I know it will make that goal much more attainable. For some people it’s about traveling to exotic locations. For others, it’s about fancy, shiny cars, the latest fashions, and all the newest gadgets. For me, it’s about the freedom to sip wine as I write. It’s about the freedom to operate out of a cafe that offers me hospitality and delicious fare. It’s about the freedom to build snowmen with the kids. To blow bubbles. To bake cookies. To laugh. To be a family. So while I may not have been as disciplined as I’d like, I definitely continued with my intention to focus on what matters most.

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November Outlook

As I celebrate my youngest’s second birthday, I’m looking ahead at November with hopeful anticipation. This month I’m dedicating myself to continued rebuilding and discipline. Here’s what’s in store:

~I’ve signed up for National Novel Writing Month this year. I’ve finally decided to take last year’s story idea and quit being so dilatory about all the stories floating in my mind. While I’m slightly intimidated by this undertaking, I’m equally excited to take the opportunity to create a novel.

~I’ve identified areas of my life that aren’t working, as well as ways to fix those problems.

~I’m ramping up my business efforts. It’s time to go big, grow my client base, and live those dreams.

~I’ll begin the process of purging my belongings once again in anticipation of the next move. We now have less than three months to go before we select our next home and move.

November promises to share many blessings that will have me and my family feeling incredibly thankful by the time Thanksgiving arrives.

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October in Review

I dedicated myself to focusing and rebuilding during October, and I believe I succeeded in my intentions. I created another set of 101 goals for 1001 days, and I’m hoping the second time around I’ll achieve even more than I did the first time. I’m finally narrowing down my “point of view” — essentially bringing focus to my work. I’ve realized this because I see stories everywhere. I relish the stories that come with each person I meet. I find the stories behind my co-workers, my customers, and my students. My current sliding scale student travels a great distance — and has a wonderful story — to learn grammar and writing skills from me. This makes me feel like I’m impacting the lives I touch positively. I thrive on this validation and these stories. But the stories don’t end there. All the wonderful people who support me and bring me joy and inspiration push me through my slumps. All writers go through these times, but we all have wonderful support networks. We build stories together.

I had hoped to realign my websites with the help of Gwen Bell, but time doesn’t permit. I’m filled with hope and ideas now. I would have loved for her to sprinkle fairy dust onto my website and been my ace up the sleeve, but it just wasn’t meant to be. However, I’ve learned very valuable lessons from her feedback that I will surely utilize. As J.K. Rowling said, “We do not need magic to transform our world. We carry all of the power we need inside ourselves already.” And it’s true. All I need really is inside of me. I transformed my websites during October, bringing my hopes and dreams further into the binary. I’m still working on becoming the best version of myself. I live to be authentic, fierce, loyal, loving, kind, compassionate, and passionate. I am me, and that’s all I can be. I have unique qualities that make me special, and I can changed lives if I simply put forth the effort. After all, I am legendary in some circles. I have already begun to touch lives, and I can continue to do so in various capacities. I’m teaching a student to find his voice, too.

October gave me the strength to continue using my voice and sharing my stories. So much inspiration — from words of wisdom to colorful leaves — urged me to continue following my own path. Dream big.

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Preparing for Wordless Weeks

I’ve written this post in my head several times during the past week, but now that I’m typing away I can’t seem to reclaim those words that eloquently formed within my mind. Nevertheless, I’m planning a couple of “Wordless Weeks” to save my words and creativity for my websites and business. I’ve been inspired by various influences, from the stories I learn about each of my co-workers or regular customers to the festive fall foliage. Because I plan to participate in NaNoWriMo, I also want to save some of my story-writing for November. I have a little more than three weeks to brainstorm and plan what story cannot wait past November. I have several ideas, but only one can take center-stage next month. I have never been good at following through on my stories, but this year I’m going to write a story from start to finish. So for the next 20 days, I invite you to walk through my backyard, admiring the fall foliage as it is today — or rather yesterday, as this was scheduled yesterday.

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Ten Years Ago

Ten years ago today, I was waking up — late for precalculus, I believe. My room mate told me I had a phone call. It was Brian. He told me what happened as I climbed down from the top bunk and saw the TV screen. What am I looking at? I thought as I stared blankly at the smoke billowing from Ground Zero. And then it hit me. I stood silently, taking in the gravity of the situation. I told Brian I’d call him back as soon as I got a hold of my relatives up north. You see, I was safe and sound in Gainesville, Florida. One of my uncles lives 5 blocks away from what is now Ground Zero. Terror filled my heart. I could not believe how evil a person — more than one person — could be. Surely I must have had some idea because I learned about World War II, among other things. Surely I could have understood that some people had sinister goals. However, I was but a naive 17-year-old girl.

On this day ten years ago, four jets were hijacked by suicide attackers, stealing the lives of almost 3000 innocent people. Normal people like you and me, going about their business, unsuspecting of their fate. Children — the most innocent victims involved — lost their lives because some adults had political agenda to attend to. Sweet children with hopes, dreams, and bright futures, all snuffed out well before their times. Friends. Family. Mothers. Fathers. Husbands. Wives. So many people, gone for something senseless.

We may feel a sense of closure as the mastermind behind these attacks was found and killed, but his death won’t bring these people back. The survivors have also been scarred for life, and only therapy can truly help them overcome the tragedy that befell our country ten years ago. On this day, let us all stop to honor the souls of the victims. Let us hold our loved ones near to our hearts. Reach out and make sure they know you care for them. We usually don’t get much warning when we will lose someone. Please hug someone you love and tell them you love them. This New Yorker who has found her way through a few states will most certainly take time to honor those who lost their lives, those who helped save more from such a fate, and those who serve to protect us on a daily basis.

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New Paths

You may or may not have noticed by now that I schedule most posts for 11AM Eastern Daylight Savings Time. That being said, I’m not here right now — I’m in the middle of orientation for my new job. Today’s my first day. I may not be on the floor, doing the tasks in my job description, but I’m getting paid for my time today — so, it’s my first day. If I don’t want to, I don’t have to hunt for a new job. However, even my personnel manager recognized that this is a temporary fix for me. She also said that even overqualified applicants need to pay their bills. I couldn’t be more relieved. I may be overqualified for this job, and my part-time status certainly won’t bring me to the middle class, but a job’s a job. I need to get back into the workforce in order to make ends meet between now and when I can find a full time, first shift job that will afford me a more comfortable living. This will also afford me the ability to be more selective with my job search.

I’m in for a new adventure, indeed. I imagine I’ll have a work schedule at the end of the day, and my son starts third grade in public school on Thursday morning. By virtue of preparation, the new school year will actually start tomorrow night. I’ll be sure he’s got lunch packed and clothes picked out (he’s got a new back to school outfit on the way from family), and we’ll make sure everyone’s tucked in early for an early start. I think he’s most looking forward to recess, and I don’t blame him — my elementary school playgrounds were glorified parking lots, whereas he’ll have all sorts of cool playground equipment to amuse himself while making new friends. Our routines will be changing dramatically during the next couple of weeks, but I know these changes will benefit all of us. Change doesn’t have to be evil. We should embrace change because we’re constantly growing and changing. Our needs change from one phase of life to the next. I’m sure most of us are glad we’ve changed into able-bodied adults who don’t need to cry to express our needs or distress. So don’t be afraid of change. Change is good.

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Realignment

Despite the fact that I can’t afford to hop on board with Gwen Bell to Align My Website(s), the message isn’t lost on me. I realize that I started this blog with the resources I had back in 2007 — I wasn’t quite willing to purchase my name as a domain at that time, nor did I have the means to do so. Last year I finally purchased MeredithShadwill.com, and I’m glad I did. However, I haven’t made much use of it. Over the past two days, I’ve considered moving my blog to my domain and returning SailorScorpio.com to the fun, playful site it was originally meant to be. (No, that doesn’t mean I’ll be reopening sections of it from the past — I’ll likely do something different with it.)

You see, I have a vision. SailorScorpio.com is a place meant for magic, optimism, hope, and beauty. It’s meant as entertainment for at least myself — should viewers on the web not derive the same entertainment value from it, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit offended. MeredithShadwill.com is a place meant to promote myself, express myself, showcase my work, and give my readers and clients a better perspective of me. Finally, ElectrateEditorials.com is a place of business — this is where you’ll find more details about the services I provide and how to acquire them.

Enter Gwen Bell. Here’s her “this is for you” check list:

  • Want to hear how I transitioned my site from not paying the bills to paying the bills — absolutely! I sent her a hand-written note wanting to hear about this. She’s quite probably only 2 years older than me, and she’s incredibly successful and inspirational.
  • Want to start paying the bills with your own website, and want clarity on how to do that — yes please! I value the need to take a job outside of the home right now to get out of an uncomfortable situation, but I dream, yearn, and ache to make a living off of my passions.
  • Need direction, guidance, a digital mentor, someone with a firm hand and warm heart to guide your website where you want it — That’s pretty much what I’d like. I need some guidance, tips, and recommendations.
  • Want to look closely at yourself and your digital work — It’s definitely time to reevaluate what I’m doing here and with the resources I have.
  • Think you could use a blank slate, or a step back to evaluate things — I think building upon a blank slate’s going to be my best option at this point. I have far too many ideas of the ideal layout(s), but it’s those ideas hindering me. I’m guilty of inaction because I want everything to be perfect and “ready.”
  • Have blank slated/are returning to the web after some time away (say, on a Digital Sabbatical) — Both MeredithShadwill.com and ElectrateEditorials.com are blank slates at this point. SailorScorpio.com is roughly a blank slate — although that “new” background’s probably going to get erased. This blog’s layout will likely get the blank-slate treatment over the next couple of months — except for Sailor Scorpio, she stays. She’s the guardian here. 😉
  • Have spent your creative load on Twitter or FarmVille (no shame, but be honest) and want back in the driver’s seat of your digital life (and your key digital offering, which is your website) — Okay, there’s no FarmVille guilt here. That sort of nonsense drives. me. crazy! No, I do NOT want to help you plant a virtual garden. I’d rather try to cure my anti-green-thumb outside in the sunshine with dirt, worms, creepy crawlies, seeds, and water. However, I do have an unhealthy relationship with social networking. I think a little more guidance on using it mindfully could be in order.
  • Need a secret weapon, not a miracle — Miracles are asking too much. A miracle would be my father-in-law winning the lottery and netting big bucks. The odds of that happening are slim. A secret weapon, however, could give me an edge to build my own success.

See? Perfect fit! And as further proof, I don’t even have a few C-notes (okay, fine, right now I’ve got some spare change — we’re being honest here), I don’t want a designer because I enjoy designing it myself (also, I’m married to an excellent designer), I don’t need hand holding, and I’ve been playing with websites since the days of Angelfire (remember Angelfire?). I fully encourage you to jump on board with her while there’s still a few spaces opened.

Keep your eyes out for changes. It’s all about embracing change and transformations around here.

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State of the Website

First of all, you’ll begin to notice some changes around here. I’m not big on a huge unveiling, though, because too many steps go into it. Instead, we’re going to take small steps from the current layout to a brand new layout — I’ve been completely inspired by Gwen Bell’s website evolution and Gretchen Rubin’s policy of doing what will get done instead of fantasizing about perfection (I’m loosely paraphrasing). I’ve started off by adding an avatar, courtesy of the lovely Axel. She’ll be designing a second avatar for me as well, and I’m sure I’ll figure a way around CSS to include both avatars in my layout. The color scheme will change, as with the content layout.

Secondly, I’ve also decided to go forward with introducing my tutoring services, in keeping with the concept of building upon a blank slate. I openly invite you to share this link with any of your Georgian and Tennessean friends. As a new school year approaches, I hope to bring my services to everyone in need — including those who may be economically disadvantaged. There’s no reason why financial hardship should be a barrier to educational success. We can’t break the cycle of poverty unless we extend the same educational opportunities to everyone.

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March’s Reverb 11 Prompt

If March 2011 was your last month to live, how would you live it?

This prompt is yours to use as you like: answer it as-is on your blog, take a series of photos that represent your response, get out finger paints and go crazy, write a poem, or reflect privately in your journal. Be as creative or as simple in your response as you see fit.

Spring arrived in Northwest Georgia early this month, bringing with it beautiful, blossoming trees and pale, tiny spring green leaves. I missed my opportunity to capture the beauty of the peach blossoms, but I still managed to capture some white cherry blossoms and fuchsia dogwoods (or perhaps they’re redbuds — but I’m not sure). Seeing these deciduous trees coming back to life with such vivid, lovely colors.

(Please note: I have no idea whose houses I’ve photographed, but I either thought the house was beautiful or the trees were beautiful.)

If tonight were to be my last night, I admit I’d go to the grave filled with many regrets. However, I could find solace in the beauty I’ve witnessed spring back to life during this month.

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