Pressing On

I have yet to devise a plan of action and truly organize my thoughts, but I have been socially networking in the hopes that I can find a connection much easier — after all, that’s partially how I got the job I just lost in the first place. I find myself feeling more and more connected to the ever popular Dooce, and I do intend to reach out to her for advice. In the mean time, let me tell you a little more about myself.

I am a graduate of the University of Florida with a Bachelor of Arts in English. I had the distinct pleasure of studying with Dr. Gregory L. Ulmer, a pioneer in the fields of electracy and hypermedia studies. Under his tutelage, I found a passion in Internet literature — more specifically, it’s on my life list to make a living off of my writing in print and on the Internet. This blog itself is considered Internet literature. The best job I’ve had since graduation was my position as a secretary in the University of Florida’s Department of Materials Science and Engineering. I started my two and a half year journey having no idea what the field of Materials Science and Engineering covered. Now, I can’t understand why I didn’t know about it in the first place. In addition to learning something new just about everyday, I was charged with answering incoming calls, sorting mail, logging packages, keeping track of keys, submitting maintenance work orders, greeting visitors, and keeping track of graduate seminar attendance. I took it upon myself to work on the newsletter, slowly gaining more and more responsibilities until I finally had the opportunity to design and edit the entire newsletter from scratch utilizing Adobe CS 4 InDesign. I also coordinated events, such as the departmental career workshop before the recession kicked into high gear. I discovered the joy in planning events — choosing caterers, locating a venue, working with venders and guests, etc. I assisted in preparations for the 50th anniversary events, and I feel honored to have been a part of that department during such a wonderful time. The people I worked with more often than not brought me joy, and I did my very best to always be a smiling, friendly face with whom the students, faculty, staff, and visitors could easily converse. Upon my departure for what I thought were greener pastures, many people expressed sadness to see me leave. I discovered that I impacted them just as much as they impacted me.

This brings me to what I’d like to find. I’m seeking a family-friendly, family-oriented environment. Ideally, I’d like to work with other parents who are working to live and not living to work. If your office is filled with family photos and your children’s artwork, if your weekends are spent hanging out with your family, we will get along quite well. Your place of employment should encourage camaraderie and value high morale among all employees. Everyone should feel part of the team — right down to the janitors who made the work environment clean and livable. You could not operate without them, so making them feel welcomed and appreciated is very important. I would very much like to continue working in the same capacity that I have been for the past few years. More specifically, I would like to function as a secretary, administrative assistant, or an executive assistant. I would like to have the opportunity to coordinate events and edit publications. Should you have something more specific to the marketing and communications aspect, I am more than willing to make the transition to that specialization. In fact, I would welcome the opportunity to begin specializing in publications.

In addition to seeking a permanent status position with an employer, I am also looking to begin my career as an English consultant and independent writer and editor. I will be explaining my business plans in more detail in the coming days. I welcome any advice, comments, ideas, recommendations, and suggestions you can provide, so please feel free to send those thoughts my way.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. — Seneca

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Impromptu Vacation

It’s actually quite funny in a cosmic sense. I mean, I did feel like I needed a vacation. I did want to be my own boss and not have to answer to someone else on their schedule. But not on these terms. It’s also funny how you learn that some people aren’t really your friends and will take the first opportunity to stab you in the back, put words into your mouth, and see that you are wronged. I will be doing some serious soul-searching with regards to whom I associate with in the next 24 hours, but for right now I have plenty of important things to handle first. In fact, let’s get onto that point right now. I’m now a free agent thanks to a gross misunderstanding.

So now I’m left scrambling to figure out finances. My husband and I are clearly going to have to play a game of who can find employment first again. I intend to contact whoever I can to do whatever I can to make sure this does not ruin my career. And who knows? Perhaps this is my chance to make my writing work for me. In the meantime, I will be accepting donations via paypal for a mother of three who’s down on her luck. Sometimes our plans in life don’t go according to plan, and sometimes other people step in to sway your path in another direction. And honestly, I’ve been in a similar position once before. We went through an uncomfortable period of time, and life began to look quite hopeless. Just when I thought it was done, that everything was going to fall apart, my old boss at UF MSE gave me a job. In fact, when I left that job I knew I was going to miss his management style the most. I knew I would miss the fact that he was more like an old friend than a boss.

So, today starts a new adventure for me and my family. I don’t know where we’re going, but I’m going to do my best to stay positive and mindful during the journey. I’m going to do my absolute best to make sure the journey takes us to a place that’s even better than I could have imagined before. And so you know, I already know I can apply for an assistanceship for grad school as long as I agree to teach some undergrad classes — the grad school application will be going forward regardless at this point. I’m not going to let a few people who’ve just spat in my face stop me from giving my family the best life I can. You can strike me down, but you cannot prevent me from doing great things in life. You can’t stop me from writing. You can’t stop me from bringing awareness to injustices. You can’t stop me from being the best wife and mother I can be. And you certainly can’t stop me from pursuing my goals. You aren’t that powerful. Only my maker can call me away from this life, and until He does, I am here to continue working towards my authentic self. Bad circumstances be damned.

If you’d like to help, you can donate to my paypal account via meri1030@gmail.com. You can also pass along that email address to recruiters. I’m a free agent, and I’m ready to rock the socks off of a family-friendly boss.

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In Pursuit of Knowledge

It’s hard to believe nearly a month has flown by since I last put text to these digital pages, yet it feels like I haven’t written for many months. Aside from the obvious transitioning into a new job with that self-expectation to perform at a certain level, I have continued to internalize much of my thoughts. One such consideration has been the benefit of waived tuition in order to earn my Master of Arts in English. Under the Employee Education Program, the University will waive up to 6 credit hours of tuition and fees for full time employees who have been with the University (or more specifically, been in a benefited position) for at least six months. The Department of English only starts students in the Fall semesters, therefore I most definitely cannot start until Fall 2011. However, this gives me plenty of time to write my statement of purpose, write a 15 page essay (literary criticism and theory), get three letters of recommendation, study for and take the GRE, and request two copies of my undergraduate transcripts. Fortunately, most English professors here at UF tend to use small paperback books, so I don’t foresee the cost of books as a significant problem. (I do, however, pine for the loss of Goerings Bookstore — such a shame they went out of business.)

To what end will I use my virtually free MA? Honestly, it’s more or less a matter of personal enlightenment. It’s a matter of studying with a very important figure in media studies, particular of the digital medium. This pursuit is strictly meant to better myself. Whether or not it increases my net worth is of little concern to me — imagine that, a human being less concerned with monetary gain and more concerned with self-betterment. Obviously, I previously decided against this pursuit because there wasn’t a good enough reason to take out loans in order to pay for my education. But how can I refuse an offer to a free graduate education? I simply cannot allow such an amazing opportunity slip through my fingers so easily. The baby will be nearly two by the time I start, my daughter will be four and a half, and my oldest son will be a nine-year-old. Quite frankly, I know from past experience that I know how to work my schedule, and I also know that I’m quite good at taking English classes. It’s nothing you sit around studying all day, every day. You don’t cram equations into your head until 4am, continually nursing coffee, always in fear of the next exam that could make or break your college career. No, this is different. Sure, you study. Sure, you have tests and/ or projects. But none of it is like that. “Oh, but this is GRAD school you’re talking about!” Yes, I know. I’m well aware of the fact that each successive level of education is hardest than the previous — but when it’s something specific to what you’d like to learn, when you enjoy what you learn, some of that difficulty melts away. When you are studying with someone brilliant, you take the time to absorb that brilliance, to hopefully gain some of that brilliance yourself. Like many literary theorists who came before him, Dr. Ulmer will be studied and critiqued. I would have to be absolutely, positively stupid to allow this to pass me by. With an IQ of 160, I have a certain level of self-expectation that dictates I have the capacity to be brilliant, and you’d better believe that I would spend the rest of my life regretting it if I did not go forward with this plan.

In the grand scheme of things, this program of study will give me more knowledge and more ability to make this — my writing — work as a full-time gig. While I don’t know just yet if I’m willing to part with excellent benefits, I still want to see my writing become something bigger than it is. A quaint little URL on the Internet is lovely and all, but there’s something much more gratifying about the thought of something bound in print, something inked on paper, something tangible. Much as I love this intangible binary that somehow manages to project images from all over the world, I love print media. The smell of a new book. The smell of an old book. The lack of a brighty glowing screen glaring in your face, straining your eyes. I admit, I can’t live without my instant access to Google, but at the end of the day my eyes hate me for it.

So, this may be the reacclimation to posting, or this may be a blip. It all depends on how well I feel I’ve moved past my internalization.

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Feedback

I’ve created a feedback form, and I’ve begun recruiting just about anyone I interact with to submit any ideas to me. I got the idea for the form from ProBlogger’s 31 Days to Building a Better Blog. While he recommends showing it to people who’ve never visited your blog before (and in person, no less), I see no reason why repeat visitors shouldn’t have a say, nor do I see a reason as to why I have to be physically present for each showing. Sure, I could certainly gain more incite if I actually watched over someone’s shoulder, but watching over someone’s shoulder tends to skew the person’s browsing habits. There’s added pressure to click more than you normally would if someone’s telling you to look around a site. So, please take a few moments to fill out my feedback form.

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To Schedule or Not To Schedule

I read four different articles about utilizing a posting schedule. The first was from ProBlogger, biased towards maintaining a schedule. As of late, I can sympathize with his sentiments:

  • Sporadic Posting Frequency – some days when I sat down to write – nothing came. On these days I would quite often not post anything.
  • Post Quality Varied – on days when I was on fire I could pump out a great quality post – while on other days when I was struggling I would often feel the pressure to post something – so would end up posting rubbishy posts.
  • Productivity Decreased – posting this way meant that I was spending more time blogging for less results. It took me away from other activities that I wanted to spend time on.
  • Let’s see: sporadic posting frequency — check; post quality variation — check; decreased productivity — check! In fact, some times the effort to create worthwhile content has been so incredibly unappealing that I avoid it in general because I don’t want it detracting from my productivity outside of this blog. What’s his recommendation?

    1. I start by brainstorming topics (generally on a text file which sits on my desktop)
    2. With a list of topics I’ll then pick one to develop a little further (I open up a new text document for each post and save them to a ‘posts in progress’ folder on my desktop)
    3. I start by tweaking the topic into a post title (this sometimes change later as I actually write).
    4. Next I jot down a sentence that describes the post that I want to write – so that later when I come to write it I know what I meant by the title. This sentence often gets used as the first sentence of the actual post.
    5. I then will quickly brainstorm a few of the main points that I want to make in the post. I don’t take a lot of time on this as I find that most of the main points will come during the writing process – however if I have a few obvious points already in mind I capture them now
    6. I then quickly think back to previous posts that I might have written on similar topics. This is useful because it helps to develop your post but also is useful for interlinking posts
    7. Then I select another of the posts developed in step #1 and then go through steps #2 – 6 again with each one in turn.
    8. Once I’ve got enough post ideas developed for the week ahead I’ll then think about what order I want to post them in and map out a posting schedule for the week ahead.

    I like the idea of brainstorming. It’s common practice in schools. It’s familiar. It’s comforting. It’s so five-paragraph-essay-esque. He also offers a list from his particular self-imposed 31 day challenge, which seemingly offers very useful information — and I, for one, intend to review it for my own personal benefit. I’m almost positive I could benefit from at least a few ideas he’s covered.

    The next article I read was from Zen Tricks with a 7 day (8 if you count day 0) method to scheduling. Here’s the recommendation:

    The schedule I’m suggesting below is for 3 posts per week. If you want to do more, try combining every 2 days of activities into 1 day.

    First you have to decide on a target. 1 post per day or one per week? Something in between? Its up to you, but you need a goal to aim for.

    Now lets plan ahead. Get a good start by listing 3 or 4 weeks of ideas. Just rough post titles is enough for now. You may not end up using some of these ideas, but we just need to make sure that you have plenty of material to work with.

    Again, we have the brainstorming theme, albeit not explicitly named. They recommend coming up with an ideal number of posts per week, which is an additional helpful idea. I don’t necessarily know if I’d like to commit myself to a post every day, a post every week day, a post every other day, only posting on weekends… Obviously, you see where I’m going with that. Still, the idea of making a little notepad more readily accessible is becoming more and more appealing — and I should be doing this in the first place.

    Then we have The Pursuit of Mommyness with many helpful hints in regards of the why’s, when’s, how’s, and delivery of scheduled posts. Obviously, I want to maintain my following — repeat readers are key to garnering an audience. She recommends marketing via social networks, and I found my way to Twitterfeed as a result of wanting to make the process more stream-lined. Okay, so more of the information I thought she gave me actually came from another article she linked to from The Secret is in the Sauce. They recommend posting between 10am and 2pm in order to achieve the maximum audience. (In fact, by the time you read this, I will be sitting in a training session that I think should go towards my Pro3 Certification.)

    Now, we’ve focused heavily on the pro-scheduling side. Could there be downfalls to scheduling? Create Market Profit seems to think so.

    Having a blog posting schedule pretty much forces you to write at certain times on certain days. In most cases, being forced to write like this eventually leads to some really [bad] content.

    Content that has been created because it was time to create it, not because it had real value.

    Content that was written because of what day it is, and not because you had a great idea for a post.

    Content that is a lot more for your schedule, and a lot less for your readers.

    This is bad, and when this starts happening, it will quickly turn your blog into complete and utter crap. And as you can imagine, it’s pretty tough to make your blog a success when it’s mostly comprised of crap.

    I get that. Seriously, I’ve got some pretty lackluster content from when I was posting every single day. Granted, I didn’t have a completely set schedule, and I could have deviated from the series posts if the mood suited me. But a simple list of 5 sentences does not make for good public reading — personal journaling, yes; public posting, no. Of course, I still got commenters noticing how I found so many things to be grateful for, but that should only get me so far before I need to start putting forth meaningful content. How am I to harbor best-selling author ambitions if I barely ever string together more than a few sentences? I can’t, and since I like to dream big, I need to work appropriately in order to even come halfway to that goal.

    However, I’m going to err on the side of scheduling. As a writer, it’s my job to write every single day. It’s my job to brainstorm. It’s my job to put my creativity to work. Surely I’ll have breaks here and there, but you can’t just say, “I don’t feel like working today — I’ll just hang out on FaceBook all day and play solitaire!” I’m sorry, that’s just not how the world works. There are deadlines, and you have to learn to meet deadlines for almost every single job category out there. So, it’s better to go forth and schedule some brainstorming, outlining, drafting, editing, revising, and publishing sessions instead of waiting for some stroke of genius to strike.

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    Thinking Out Loud

    So while I haven’t had a brainstorming session with Nicki yet (it’s on my to-do list — the phone can be a scary device when there are three small children running around 😉 ), I did find some good information in terms of creating a posting schedule. Most of the material I’ve found has a pro-scheduling bias, but I did find one article that was against scheduling. I like to hear both sides of the argument before I make my decisions. I also found a site that has a layout that has a similar idea to what I’d like to do. See this? That header? How about the adorable Hungry Girl avatar? That is on par with what I’m trying to create — great minds, and all that silliness. I’ve been planning to hire one of my friends to digitally draw something like that for me for quite some time now, but I’ve been stuck on exactly what I’d like. I need a good, solid vision before I can make that next step.

    I have to admit I’ve also been inspired by Gwen Bell to become a consultant. I couldn’t figure out what I could do, though — I think of consultants as people who discuss things like business, technology, marketing, and things of that nature. What could I do? What am I good at? What is my expertise? Well, I have a Bachelors degree in English. I have a relatively good command of the English language. I edit newsletters and publications for a living (when I’m not playing secretary, that is). Today, it became obvious to me while talking with a new co-worker that I should consider a career in English consulting. So, I have a business plan to write and some serious brainstorming to do.

    As for marketing, I recently came across a flier on campus advertising a personal website. Why hadn’t I thought of that?! It was so obvious. It’s a college town, and there are plenty of people riding the buses. I’m sure enough people would at least see the fliers, let alone come to visit. Of course, before I ramp up my marketing, I need to redesign and reassess. I’ve gotten the “go forth and comment” part down already — and boy oh boy, did that ever prove fruitful in both getting traffic and finding some great people to read. (It’s gotten to the point where I’ve come around to the Google Reader because it’s one website, one place, and a simple click if I’d like to go comment. I’m just hoping the RSS feeds count for “hits” for my favorite bloggers.) Anyway, I think I’m progressing along and almost ready to get back on track with my writing. Maybe I’ll turn this into a lucrative career yet!

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    Revamping My Personal Brand

    I want you to take a good, close look at what I’m doing here. Read through my content. Review my layout.  Skim the ads and affiliates. Do these fit my “personal brand,” so to speak? Tell me what works. Tell me what doesn’t. Tell me what you like. Tell me what you don’t like. Tell me what you absolutely hate. Tell me what you perceive I’m telling you — who do you think I am based upon what I’ve done here? Give me praise. Give me criticism. Above all else, give me constructive feedback. I have been in the process of redesigning this space I’ve carved out for myself on the Internet. Granted, some of that redesigning has yet to leave the confines of my brain cells, but the ideas are there awaiting that transformation from intangible to tangible. This is your moment to tell me what’s working and what’s not. Have at it!

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    Jumping Ship

    One of the biggest issues that has been perplexing me and causing a very interesting emotional response is my acceptance of a new job. You’ll notice I list UF MSE in my friends list in the left column. That is the department I currently work for. When I came here back on December 14th, 2007, I had gone through a very trying period of unemployment after a mutual separation from my first post-college-graduation job. Luckily, my boss saw much promise in my résumé and called me in for an interview. Whereas usually having a family would be considered a flaw, it was a common interest — my boss’ middle child is a month younger than my middle child, and his wife was nursing the little one as well. My obligations to my family meant I was likely more responsible than someone with no familial responsibilities, and I’m glad my boss made that assumption about me because it was absolutely accurate.

    During my time with the department, I have taken on responsibility for the newsletter, coordinating events, and the daily secretarial tasks. I can see how some people make a career of this, and I almost could see myself doing this sort of thing for a living in order to afford moonlighting as an author. Unfortunately, I was hired during a budget crisis, so benefits were not an option at that time. My plan was to hang around for two years to build my résumé and then hunt for a job with the university that came with benefits and higher pay to afford the benefits. Of course, I also held out hope that the budget would allow for my current position to be given higher pay and benefits, but that wasn’t possible due to many, many circumstances.

    I applied for a position with UF’s Department of Industrial and Systems Engineering knowing full well that my boss knows the chairman of that department quite well. He knew I was trying to do what was best for my family, and he put in a good word for me. Not surprisingly, I actually got called in for an interview — and the opportunity to showcase my portfolio. There always seems to be a candidate (or two or three or four) with more experience than me who gets called in. In this case, I don’t know who my competition was, but she did not bring in a portfolio. Guess who got offered the job? After negotiating a starting salary, I accepted the offer.

    Obviously, I knew the day would come when I would have to leave this department to pursue my own career advancement. That hasn’t stopped me from feeling like I’m going to be leaving something special behind — like moving out of home and leaving family behind. I’ve grown attached to the people I work with on a daily basis. The familiar faces greet me with smiles and waving hands. I could always tell when a string of students all needed the same time of assistance. I’ve grown into a routine. I’ve made my desk my own personal space. However, it has come time to move onward and upward. Fortunately, my new office will only be in the next building over, so it’s not like I’ll never seen anyone here again.

    So here’s to the place that give me the chance to build upon my experience. I’m so very grateful for the opportunities I got while working here, and I’m grateful for the friendships I’ve forged. I look forward to making a smooth transition and becoming just as comfortable with UF ISE.

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    Dusting the Digital Cobwebs

    I want to take this opportunity to apologize for my extreme lack of content these days. Life’s thrown some interest conundrums my way lately, and I’m processing it all. Trying to digest so many changes at once is a very difficult task indeed, and I suppose I really do need my time to sort out my thoughts and feelings — my internal conflict. Know that I should be kicking myself back into a posting habit soon, and I will have some new tales to tell. In the mean time, please pardon my dust.

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    A Page From the Dooce

    Excuse me while I get a little more authentic than usually — see there’s my internet persona, there’s my professional persona, and there’s my “IRL” persona. All three are true to who I am, yet all three are not the same. I’m a layered, complicated individual, and — darn it all (you didn’t really think I was going to go completely Dooce on you, did you) — I like it that way. My weekends away from the internet, my recent writer’s block, and a plethora of other things have made me stop to realize that I’m not focusing on myself in the way I had outlined at the beginning of the year. True, there’s only so much self-focusing a wife and mother of three children who works outside of the home can afford, but I feel that more and more of my time has shifted away from becoming the best version of Meredith I can be and gravitated towards “how can I help you today, sir/ ma’am?” Don’t interpret this the wrong way — I do want to help others and contribute to society for the greater good. But how the fudge am I supposed to make that happen when I’m still in a fragmented state of being?

    I have several goals that I set for myself at the beginning of the year — I called them “resolutions,” as is so popular that the start of any year. The term “resolution” has come to mean something much more flighty when used in conjunction with the term “new year’s,” however, so I’m currently referring to them as goals because the intent behind them was not even slightly flighty. No, not at all. They were heavy. They were meaningful. Damn it (okay, perhaps a bit more Dooce-like after all), my goals mean something to me. I read all these inspirational posts, and I think, that’s exactly what I want to do with myself! I would also like to be that writer/ blogger who’s inspiring others to aspire to more than just the drudgery of the daily noise. I, too, want to wax poetic on a fairly regular basis, earning my place among the greats who’ve come before me. Why the hell should I settle for the meager bag of chips when I really crave a full course meal full of substance and nutritional value?

    I’ve been know to tell people to dream big lately. Honestly, that’s the best way to do it. Why dream about driving a run-down used car when you can dream about driving the fancy, expensive car? Why should it matter if you don’t think you’ll ever, ever, EVER in your life get a shot to even see that fancy, expensive car in person — it shouldn’t. Dream big. Dreams are meant to add spice and motivation to life. And don’t let those little naysayers tell you otherwise.

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