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#AprilMoon15 Day 2

Knowing what I know now, I would tell my ten-years-ago self:

Ten years ago, it was April 2005. I was struggling to make it as a pre-vet student. I was struggling to find a job so we could afford to move to a better apartment in a better neighborhood. I was trying to build a new life, but I was also trying to live a childhood dream. I eventually changed my major because I failed chemistry and calculus too many times. I landed a job at a cat clinic and found that I really enjoyed my work. We moved in August 2005 into a much nicer, much safer apartment in a complex that saw us welcome two new babies into the family. Ten years ago, we were still a family of 3, still young and inexperienced.

I always question ideas like this — what would the affects of me telling my past self about the future do to my present? Would I like those changes? It’s one of those things that comes with consequences. However, I do value ambiguity as a way to keep things safe. So, I would tell my ten-years-ago self to keep smiling like I always do. To have courage even when everything seems hopeless. To dream even when my dreams are shattered. To look for flowers. To look for light. To never stop pursuing and cultivating happiness. And shouldn’t we all do that anyway? Shouldn’t we all keep smiling and having courage? I think so.

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#AprilMoon15 Day 1

That’s when I knew that this chapter of my life had ended. And now I was free to…

Once the dust had settled and our family had been reunited, I realized that I was in the wrong place to build dreams — to raise young minds. That’s when I knew that this chapter of my life — living in rural Northwest Georgia, far away from my family of origin — had ended. I was now free to move away and rebuild our lives and start fresh. I’ve been planning a move back to Florida, much as I never thought I’d say that. I’d like to start over and give our family more support by moving closer to my family again. I grew my love of family in my family of origin, and I want my children to adopt that same mindset. I also see that the scars are rubbed wrong when we encounter people and places from that dreadful time under the microscope. It reminds all of us that we were once threatened as a family unit — that we were picked apart and forced to uphold lifestyles and standards far greater than the typical family. But now we are free, and we’re going to spend more time swimming in my grandparents’ pool, sharing big family meals, visiting the beach, and living our lives. It’s time to write a brand new chapter.

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#ThankfulThursday Unseasonable Weather

Yesterday we had a gorgeous 70+ degree day. The windows were open allowing fresh air to flow through, the slight hint of rain lofting in the air. It felt so nice when I took a walk and while I cleaned the house. Even though it’s still winter, it gave the impression of a vacation somewhere warmer. That really helped perk up my mood.

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#MotivationMonday Sugar Cravings

I cannot express how difficult it’s been to avoid all my favorite sugary treats. A friend of mine always told me that white sugar was more addictive than heroin — while I can’t vouch for the latter, it’s pretty obvious to me that sugar really is an awful addiction. I have spent almost two weeks now fighting the cravings and desires to eat a piece of chocolate or enjoy a sugary coffee. It’s not even so much the caffeine I miss at this point as much as the sugar rush.

I’m motivating myself to keep going. Each day I abstain from sugar is a small victory. I don’t notice sugar crashes nearly as much as I used to. I’m motivated to keep trying.

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#FoodieFriday A Clean Dinner

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During the week, I wanted something comforting and familiar, so I cooked up some baked sweet potatoes, steamed broccoli, and meatloaf. It wasn’t too hard to substitute butter with coconut oil for the sweet potatoes, and I added a sprinkling of cinnamon to round out the sweetness. I stirred coconut oil and dash of salt into the broccoli. As for the meatloaf, I’m no stranger to omitting breadcrumbs. It was a great dinner — it was just what I needed the night before going back to work.

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#ThankfulThursday Back to Reality

It was so nice to stay home and keep warm, rest, play around a bit, and give my body a chance to adjust to my current dietary plan. Now that I’m back at work, I’m feeling a lot more grounded again and more able to face the day. Sure, that exposure to all the goodies I can’t eat really stings, but I think I’ve got this covered. I can overcome the cravings until Easter.

I’m grateful that I got to spend some extra time with the kids, especially since we had a decent amount of snow to play with and make snow cream. They had many “snow” days and were only at school for 2 out of my 8 days off, so we definitely got to spend plenty of time snuggled up in pajamas.

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#TipTuesday Word Block

Sometimes you feel like you have nothing to say. In some cases, you can stop at that, and proceed with your day. In others, you have deadlines looming and a necessity to say something — preferably something worthwhile. My tip for the day is to sit down, write whatever comes to mind or whatever you’re doing, and soon enough you’ll have ideas. Most of the time, I experience writer’s block and simply opt not to show up. However, simply sitting with my journal and writing whatever comes to mind tends to loosen those holds on my thoughts, and I find some great ideas. Give it a shot the next time you find yourself wordless.

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#MotivationMonday Devouring Books

A few birthdays back, I asked my husband for Hemingway books. I really can’t remember why it was I opted to read Hemingway’s works, but I knew his reputation as a great author. Of course, life has a way of pulling my attention away, and I got through two and a half books before going about two years between opening one up. Since I’ve been working on overhauling my diet and enjoying so much needed vacation time at home, I thought I’d pick up one of his books and jump back in. I don’t remember where I put A Farewell to Arms, so I decided to start fresh with For Whom the Bell Tolls. So far I’m slowly but surely turning the pages — I’ve never been one of those book worms who sits down to finish a book within hours, thanks to my short attention span. However, I’m motivating myself to read for fun, to explore new places and people. Usually, I fall down rabbit holes here on the internet, reading up on plenty of non-fiction from blog posts to medical articles. Those are usually less mindful than the act of picking up a book and following the author’s lead. This will be an exercise in mindfulness, a means to distract myself from the sugar demons, and a great way to relax.

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