#AprilLove2016 Dear First Love

Dear First Love,

When my feet were able, I danced. I didn’t just walk or run — I danced. Tapping my toes, spinning in circles, moving my body to the music. For nearly 10 years you and I were inseparable. At one point you were my career of choice until I fell in love with animals and their care. You were still there in the wings, waiting for me just in case I faltered. One day my family moved away from all that we knew, so we were forced to part ways for a while — although I still moved to the music whenever possible. One year we finally got to go en pointe, fulfilling a dream of twirling around on my tip toes. This relationship wasn’t exactly great for my feet, but it was superb for my soul. The blisters, bruised toes, and soreness were a small price to pay to enjoy you. I’m sad that we don’t enjoy each other’s company nearly enough, and that’s my fault these days. Perhaps this is life beckoning me to rekindle our love affair…

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#AprilLove2016 Dear Imagination

Dear Imagination,

Like rest, you can be an elusive creature. I’ll spend days wondering where you’ve disappeared, then other days you’ll come flooding out of my mind like a raging waterfall. You’re very good at helping me dream of so many wonderful ideas. Through you I’ve created stories, recipes, images, websites, plans, essays, and so much more.

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#AprilLove2016 Dear Younger Me

Dear Younger Me,

Always smile and find the silver lining in every situation. Trust your instincts. Believe in yourself. Have faith that life will unfold as it should. Know that your path will change at times. Do not fear the future. Life is a beautiful, wonderful gift to enjoy, even when you feel like crying yourself to sleep.

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#AprilLove2016 Dear Rest

Dear Rest,

These days I feel like I need you most. I don’t always get to enjoy you, but when I do, it’s the best feeling in the world. I lay my body in the hammock or on the bed, and I let you come to me. My muscles loosen, my breath slows down, and the day’s troubles begin to drift away. I shut my eyes and let them recover from overuse. Some days I wake up and feel like I haven’t gotten enough of you, but once in a while I get my fill of you.

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#AprilLove2016 Dear Books

Dear Books,

Oh, what glorious creatures you are indeed! Some of you are filled with words waiting for me to devour them. Some of you are filled with blank pages begging me to fill you with my own words and thoughts. Some of you have neat lines and space so I can externalize my upcoming days, weeks, and months. Some of you leave plenty of room for my imagination to run wild. I’ve found artists’ books that bring a new life to an old craft. I’ve found classics that harken back to a time when print literature was a novel concept (pun definitely intended). My life would be incomplete without all of you beautiful, wonderful books.

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#AprilLove2016 Dear Intuition

Dear Intuition,

I look to the heavens for you, as if you’re somehow outside of me. Yet I know you’re within, waiting for me to look inward. I sometimes ignore you, trying to use logic and reason instead of trusting you and what I know is true. I find those times that I kick myself for not listening, although I’m learning to trust you more and more as the years pass. You were there for me when my babies were making their grand debuts into the world, guiding me through an ancient process that many woman have experiences before me. You have granted me insight when I need it most, realizing that the answers I seek are usually right there within my core. Sometimes I just need to focus, to find the contrails of the jet, and discover that you’re right there.

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#AprilLove2016 Dear Morning

Dear Morning,

We don’t always get along. You come too soon at times. You leave me feeling exhausted. Yet sometimes you treat me to rainbow-colored skies, fluffy pink, purple, and orange clouds, and the sweet sounds of singing birds. You bring me velvety coffee and smooth tea. You bring me the first meal of the day. On rare occasions, you even bring me energy after a good night’s sleep. Good morning to you.

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#AprilLove2016 Dear Feet

Dear Feet,

You carry me everywhere. I’ve been my most used mode of transportation over the last 32+ years. Some days you ache from all the places you take me. Some days I kick you up so you don’t have to ache. Some days I soak you to ease the burden. I’m thankful I have both of you, even if we’re suffering from bunions. Thank you for taking me places!

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#AprilLove2016 Love & Home

Dear Love,

Words cannot express the depth you’ve touched my life. I’ve journeyed with the same man for over 15 years, almost 14 of those as a married couple. Three beautiful children have shown me another facet of you. Strong bonds of friendship. Sweet furry creatures who’ve left pawprints on my heart. So many things in life exude LOVE.

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Dear Home,

As of yesterday, you’ve been my humble abode for 4 years. We’ve seen some great times and some awful times. We’ve seen neighbors come and go. We’ve outlasted an owner and a bank ownership. You’ve been my sanctuary at the end of a long day, a place to rest my weary head and prepare myself for the coming days. At times you may have felt like a prison, but you’ve seen so many holidays and birthdays that I couldn’t feel that way anymore. Some fresh paint, a lot of decluttering, and a bit of decorating will revive you. Thank you for being my place.

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#FoodieFriday Fatty Cakes

Meet the cousin of the slutty brownies — the Fatty Cakes! These thick, delicious bars are my brainchild, the culmination of my favorite treats. I unleashed a pan full of diabetes upon my coworkers around Thanksgiving last year, spreading love and calories to as many as I could. Let’s dissect these, shall we? You’ll be needing chocolate chip cookie dough, peanut butter cups, cheesecake filling, chocolate sandwich cookies, and brownie batter.

Chocolate Chip Cookie layer
2 1/2 cups flour (I used gluten free)
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
1/2 cup canolia oil
2 large eggs
1/2 tbsp vanilla
12oz bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips

Sift together the flour, powder, soda, and salt, then set aside. Cream together the sugars, butter, and oil until smooth and creamy. Beat in the eggs and vanilla. Add the dry ingredients and mix until combine. Stir in the chocolate chips, then set aside.

Cheesecake Filling layer
2 8oz blocks of cream cheese, softened
2 large eggs, beaten
2/3 cups powdered sugar
1/3 cup heavy cream
1/2 tbsp vanilla

Beat together the cream cheese and eggs, then add the powdered sugar. Beat carefully until combine. Add the cream and vanilla, and beat until smooth and creamy. Set aside.

Brownie layer
A box of your favorite brownie mix (I use a gluten free mix)
1 large egg
1/2 cup canola oil
1/4 cup kahlua

Mix together all your ingredients until combine. If your batter seems too thin, add some water or increase the amount of brownie batter. Set aside.

To Assemble:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. In a greased 9×13″ baking pan, press your cookie dough into the bottom of the pan. Arrange peanut butter cups into a 6 by 4 pattern (you’ll need 24 peanut butter cups). Smooth the cheesecake filling over the peanut butter cups. Arrange chocolate sandwich cookies into a 6 by 4 pattern (you’ll need 24 cookies). Cover the cookies with brownie batter. Pop that heavy pan into the oven and bake for 30 minutes. Allow them to cool for half an hour before refrigerating the pan. Let them set for another 30-60 minutes. Cut into 24 squares. Devour at your own risk!

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