#MondayMeditation Soaking In the New Year

We’re already nine days into 2012 (two thousand twelve or twenty twelve?), and already I feel a greater peace with my life than I did this time last year. Perhaps that’s because last year I was just beginning my journey living under someone else’s roof. This year I’m anticipating a move very, very soon. We may not achieve our February 1st goal due to some very complicated reasons of which I will not explain in public, but we have definitely spent the majority of our time here at this point. Even if our plans get pushed back to, say, March 1st, we’ll still be alright. I’ve allowed myself to explore ideas to cultivate a life worth living (yes, I’m going to repeat this phrase over and over again throughout the year — brace yourselves!), as well as explore other projects that encourage readers to revel in themselves and their dreams. Incidentally, I’m much more pleasant when I’ve taken care of myself. I don’t do as well when all I’ve had to eat is junk and I’m dehydrated. I’ve known this for years, but somehow I always end up letting my needs fall to the back burner when I’m asked to do something else. In those cases, I carry resentment. Resentment turns into stress, headaches, migraines, back pain, and a weakened immune system — seriously not a good state of being for anyone. This is why I think we should all stop to cultivate ourselves. It’s a holistic approach to feeling better and performing better, and there shouldn’t be a sense of guilt or selfishness involved. After all, I end up feeling guilty when I feel resentful towards someone I care about just because I stopped to do something for them instead of eating breakfast or washing my face.

Today’s Cultivate 2012 actions were: eating chocolate cereal instead of snacking on cookies and fudge (note to self: unload the rest of the fudge on unsuspecting co-workers); completing crunches and yoga; meeting my water quota by 4PM; writing in green metallic ink; and spending a little extra time to plan a nice meal for Thursday night.

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[Monday Meditation] Letting Go of Guilt

I’ve found myself feeling very guilty that I haven’t written more than 932 words towards my NaNoWriMo project. Of course, I’m only writing it for myself at this point. I procrastinate because it’s in my dilatory nature. Yet I realize I shouldn’t feel guilty over this. When I came to this realization, I determined that I can let go of the guilt in other areas of my life. We all can. Guilt only serves to make us dwell upon bad decisions. It doesn’t necessarily help us move forward. If I’m too busy feeling guilty about my lack of writing or sweet indulgences, I’m not focusing on writing or eating better. As I’m working on disciplining myself better, I feel that it’s only fitting that I let go of the guilt. I need to haveĀ  more discipline with regards to making positive changes in my life and the world around me rather than dwelling on my faults and the wrongs I see.

So I’m letting go of the guilt. Yes, I had entirely too much cake for my birthday and the ensuing week. Yes, I haven’t upheld my commitment to write 1667 words per day during the month of November. Yes, I’ve ignored my plans to incorporate more exercises into my daily routines. Yes, I some times go a day without meeting my sixty-four ounces of water quota. Yes, I have been staying up a little later than I should be, forgoing my required eight hours. I’m remembering that I can choose to eat healthier the next time I feed myself. I know that tomorrow is another day — a day in which I’ll have an hour break at work, where I can write in peace and quiet. I’m making the choice to enforce more discipline within myself in order to live a healthier, balanced life. So what if I don’t reach my 50,000 word quota? This story is rather delicate, so I’m fine with taking more time to carefully think out the details. There’s no need for guilt.

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