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On Cultivating Family

This year has been hideously rough on my family. Between death and attacks on the integrity of our family unit, cultivating a thriving life as a family unit has been strained and fractured. It’s incredibly frustrating that outsiders can have such a deep impact on a family, but the sad reality is that some times other people can — and do — have power over us. The question is whether or not we let them exert that control over our lives and allow them permission to derail our plans and our dreams. The answer? We don’t. We press on. We show them who we are, what we’re made of, and how strong we are. I haven’t given up hope that we can salvage this year. I haven’t given up hope that the truth will prevail. I haven’t given up hope, and I won’t give up hope. Try as they may, my spirit cannot be broken. They will need to physically break me in order to stop me from nurturing myself, my family, and my dreams. I, too, have power — and I choose to use it wisely and responsibly. I could have easily abused my power earlier in the year, but I’ve chosen to let life unfold the story instead. I’ve chosen to keep the story to a limited few. I’ve chosen to continue practicing happiness and gratitude, cultivating life in spite of the challenges placed before me. I will continue to do so until the fight is over because that is the caliber of my character. I don’t quit — especially not when it comes to my family.

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March Outlook

March promises to be better than January and February. I’m hoping March makes good on that promise. Regardless, life changes are upon me and my family. That’s why I’m relieved that the Scintilla Project is back this year, offering prompts to tell stories. I’m looking forward to the two weeks of story telling.

I can’t say for certain how I feel about March on the whole — I have mixed emotions after dealing with January and February. I want to let go of the past and make peace with things as they are and go forward with hope for a better future and love in my heart. But, I’m also scared of all the unknowns and uncertainties. It’s been quite a ride so far, and I’m not entirely sure if the exit for this particular roller coaster is getting closer or not. I’m in the dark and can’t see if there’s a swoop or turn ahead. I’m crossing my fingers that the car is pulling into the exit area, where I’ll leap out, kiss the ground, and count my blessings that I survived the ride of January and February 2013.

 

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February Review

I started this month with intentions to go forward with my plans as scheduled. By mid-month, I knew this February was just as unforgiving as the last. Just as unforgiving as January. With all the pain my family’s endured for much of 2013, I’ve been too engrossed in life’s circumstances and completing myriad tasks to focus on my cultivate project. It’s a shame, really — this situation needs lots of cultivation and nurturing. However, I cannot undo the past or reset the year. I can only forgive, accept, and move forward. So when I saw that Scintilla was coming back this year, I felt eager to get back into the practice of writing for public consumption. I’m sure my prompt responses will be infused with grief, but processing grief through words brings peace. Somehow, I always feel a little better after I’ve written out my thoughts and feelings. And perhaps this is just the antidote I need to cure my writer’s block and get on with my projects.

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Cultivating Through Grief

Life has plowed full-speed ahead this year, and it’s all I can do to hold on for the ride. So much death and change has marred my 2013, and my heart has broken for my family several times over. At the onset of the year, I had grandiose plans to unveil courses, workshops, consultation and coaching packages, and a revised sliding scale tutoring fee schedule. I wanted to ring in my big three-oh in style. I wanted to celebrate my happy occasions with my family. Instead, I’ve found myself attempting to cultivate my life worth loving under very tense circumstances. I’ve opted to take time away from my job to focus on that which matters most — family. It’s all about my family — as individuals and as a unit. And at the moment, I feel like we’ve been set back quite a bit. We need time for grieving. For loving. For simply living. It may hurt now. It may feel like an unpleasant, discomforting state of being. Yet I know that we are all going to come out on the other side as a stronger family. Our strife will pave the way for stronger bonds and lots of love. Silly things like mortality and distance may mock us at the moment, but we will continue to cultivate thriving lives. I refuse to allow 2013 to break my spirit. I worked too hard for the last quarter of 2012 to prepare for 2013 — my determination to cultivate a lovely life for my family will only strengthen. I know that one day my children will be in their father’s shoes, and I want them to know that their parents were loving, caring individuals who did everything in their power to provide for them, teach them right from wrong, and instill good values in them. I want them to pass along the value of cultivating a life worth loving, even when life doesn’t feel worth loving. Life is always worth loving,

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February 2013 Outlook

After last month’s web of chaos, I’m ready to start fresh. I will be focusing on cultivate my family relationships with a great amount of enthusiasm. We’ve got items to check off our list, after all. We will also be facing difficult challenges, but I plan to overcome all of that. I will also be unveiling new offerings (services and products). I’ve had plenty of time to extrapolate from others how to make this World Wide Web work for me — and I’ve got some great ideas coming up. I can’t wait to share these new offerings with everyone. This is my year to do amazing things, and no one can take that away from me. Nothing can stop my motivation to cultivate a thriving life worth loving. By the time March rolls around with spring’s leaves and flowers, I will have opened registration for courses and workshops. I will have begun scheduling consultations and coaching. I will be preparing to test my products and services for longevity and sustainability. I’m going to take notes and see how I do.

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January 2013 Review

January wasn’t as great as I’d planned for it to be. I had to dig deep daily to practice happiness and cultivate all aspects of my life. Several challenges have forced me to take a giant step back to reassess life and my plan of action. I don’t plan to lose, though. Even though this month picked up my avatar, threw her against the wall, and brutally beat her down, she’s not out. She’s regaining her composure and preparing a return attack — and don’t forget that formidable scythe she carries. I came to 2013 to win. So while I may not have had much time to focus on cultivating a thriving life worth loving, I’ve had plenty of time to sit back, think, and plan. I’ve had plenty of time to digest the brain dump that was Cultivate 2012. I still found time to cultivate my dreams, and I still found time to cultivate my family. Farewell, January! You were filled with a great number of lessons and tests, but you’re not going to set the tone for the rest of the year. Tomorrow is a chance for a fresh start.

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#Cultivate2012 Feedback

Congratulations! You’ve finished Cultivate 2012!

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey. I’d like to give to gather some feedback for next December’s Cultivate 2013 prompts and give you a mission for 2013. Here’s the feedback form:

  1. What was your favorite prompt? Why?
  2. What was your least favorite prompt? Why?
  3. What segment made you think the most?
  4. What segment burrowed under your skin like a tick?
  5. What would you like to see in December?
  6. Would you like to write a guest post for December? What segment would you prefer?
  7. Do you plan to continue on with Cultivate 2013?

Now here’s your mission for Cultivate 2013: Create an outlook for each month. Review the end of each month. Learn from mistakes. Grow and change. Cultivate your life worth loving. Use the media that appeal most to you. Thrive!

Signing off for Cultivate 2012,
Meredith

P.S. I’m taking a hiatus until the end of January. I need to digest the brain-dump that was Cultivate 2012 and formulate my battle-plan for 2013.

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#Cultivate2012 Clutter

Do you hoard things? Take a look around your house. Are you finding things that nurture you or weigh you down? What can you give away or throw away? Can you maintain a monthly, quarterly, biannual, or yearly decluttering plan?

I find that we hoard too much paper. Bills, ads, school fliers — our piles of paper accumulate too quickly and get thrown into the trash too little. (Yes, I know they should be recycled — we don’t have a bin in our subdivision, and I’m not looking for perfection here. I need a system first!)

I’ve tried some methods already out there online, but it doesn’t take much to fall off the wagon. I need to set up regular times to go through everything — times that work around our schedules. We can’t keep getting weighed down by ink and paper. It’s funny how the very mediums that bring me so much joy also bring me so much stress.

I think we’ve got too many clothes, too. I’ve got clothes I don’t wear anymore that I should donate. I need to go through my children’s clothes to donate my younger two’s smaller clothes. It takes up valuable space in our closets, dressers, and boxes in the attic. We need to stay on top of these things to prevent a backlog of clutter.

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#Cultivate2012 Weekly Chores

What chores and tasks need to be repeated on weekly basis? Do you keep up with them? Is there a better way to manage them?

We need to make sure the bathrooms, kitchen, windows, and dusting get done once a week. Again, we aren’t involving the kids as much as we could. It wouldn’t take much to get the smaller to kids to clean kitchen cabinets with soapy water. They’re at the perfect height to wipe them without having to get on their hands and knees. I hate scrubbing the toilets, but my oldest loves cleaning. He can do something that he won’t mind as much as I do.

Again, we need to instate a chore chart method. It’ll be easier to keep up with if the kids get incorporated into these necessary tasks. They need to learn these tasks for their future, and they need to feel involved. These tasks can build their confidence just as much as take the pressure off me and my husband.

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#Cultivate2012 Daily Chores

What chores and tasks seem to pile up daily? How can you manage your days (or delegate these chores and tasks) to make these items disappear faster?

Everyday we build piles of dishes and laundry. The cat trails her litter. The kids drag out their toys. The mail piles upon the counter. It’s time to make chore charts and rewards systems — it’s time to get the kids ALL more involved. We can’t just expect me and my husband to do it all anymore.

I think if we taught my oldest how to load and unload the dishwasher, we might have less stress with that necessary daily chore. We need to get my daughter folding her own laundry. We need to train our littlest to put away his toys instead of leaving them out. I need to get my husband on the same page as me, too.

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