#Reverb15 Space For Answers

Today, I invite you to think about the great unknowns in your life right now. Say to yourself this morning: “I am open to the answers finding me”. Then stay alert with as many senses as you can throughout the course of the day. In what form did the answers find you?

I am incredibly late. It’s alright tomorrow on the other side of the world. I’ve sat with this prompt, however, and stayed open for the answers to find me. The answer always finds me: patience. One day at a time. Practice. Put forth the effort, even when it feels like two steps backwards for every one step forward. Put the thoughts out into the universe — express it to others, and what you want will find you. I see it when I read someone else’s status message or tweet. I see it in books, magazines, newspapers, and websites. I hear it in other people’s conversations. The message is always the same, though. I must be patience, work hard, and take it one day at a time.

Image credit to Kat McNally
Image credit to Kat McNally
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#Reverb15 Max Power

So I invite you to consider: where could you (like me) consider turning it up a few notches in the new year?

I think when it comes to keeping my body able to grow older without losing strength or flexibility, I could turn it up. I could — and do intend to — exercise more. I stopped walking after my panic attack. This is obviously counterintuitive, but I spent more time contemplating how I got there and actively working to fix those problems. I think it’s been more than enough time for me to restore my walking habit and exercise practices. I think because I’ve been so tired all the time that I have decided to just be lazy, but that’s really not an excuse to let my muscles become weaker and more easily tired. I just need to amp up the power.

I’m also looking to amp my writing and business. Far too many things consumed my time needlessly this year. I’ve been letting other people’s dreams get in the way of mine, and at the risk of appearing “out of control,” I’m going to pursue what makes me happy. I’m going to pursue what makes me feel like I can give my children everything they need to go out into the world and pursue their own dreams.

Image credit to Kat McNally
Image credit to Kat McNally
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#Reverb15 Through the Doorway

Think of three important portal points – one in the past, the present, and one you hope to have in the future – and join them together into one powerful and personal gateway into 2015. Where will walking through this gateway lead you in this upcoming new year?

It came to me: the past point was December 2012. I had such a sense of purpose, determination, and hope. I’m here now, trying to find my way back — or even just a way in general. I hope to see that point in the future when I’m living my dreams. Combining these three points together into a portal, I will be lead to a new way of life. I cannot continue on with the status quo if I expect to see change. I cannot restore myself and my purpose if I continue reliving the past and allowing the poison of it to drain my soul. I will find my way, and I will revive my dreams.

Image credit to Kat McNally and C. Streetlights
Image credit to Kat McNally and C. Streetlights
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#Reverb15 Your Purple Crayon

Imagine one such crayon would be bestowed upon you on New Year’s Eve 2015: what would you draw to ensure 2016 had everything you need?

I fondly remember Harold and the Purple Crayon, and I wonder why I haven’t gotten my hands on a copy since my children were born. If I was given a magic crayon on New Year’s Eve, I would draw a beautiful house. Each of my children would have their own room, decorated with their favorites. My kitchen would be spacious and inviting so that I can create memorable meals and treats. I would draw two vehicles — one for commuting, one for family. They would be so lovely, shiny, and functional. I would draw a garden filled with fruits, vegetables, and beautiful flowers. I would draw a beautiful home office — I would draw the website I want to create, to draw the clients to me. I would draw beautiful sunny days. I would draw peaceful rainy days. I would draw spring flowers and autumn leaves. I would draw beaches and snowy mountains. I would draw and draw and draw until the wax was no more.

Image credit to Kat McNally
Image credit to Kat McNally
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#Reverb15 Magic and Beauty

If we were to peek into the book of your year, what might we find? What magic do you carry that people need to look a bit deeply to see?

I wear my smile as though it were a vital garment to cover my extremities. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember, having people remarked on my smile over the course of my life. And while I’ve smiled through 2015 just as I always do, it seemingly hides the pain and suffering shut tightly underneath. I’ve smiled through a great deal of pain and misfortune, and while this year has been kinder, I have only nurtured the wounds of the past. They wounds and scars still hurt, and I think it must be magic that I’m capable of pretending to be as carefree and cheery as I do. Some days I fake it the whole way through, and others I find the little things easier and smile naturally. Smiling’s my super power. What’s yours?

Image credit to Kat McNally
Image credit to Kat McNally
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#Reverb15 Of Marshmallows and Trampolines

What small pleasures gave you moments of intense joy in 2015? What more could you cultivate in 2016?

Cups of tea. Laying in my hammock. Mugs of coffee. Glasses of water. Glasses of wine. Chocolate. Napping. Watching  movies with my family. Baking. Cooking. Fleece pants. Snapping photos. Coloring. Writing. Doodling. Of course, I’m kind of a pro when it comes to enjoying the smaller things in life. When life starts to suck, I look for rainbows and stars. In 2016, I’m going to continue cultivating my skill for finding the silver lining.

Image credit to Kat McNally
Image credit to Kat McNally
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#Reverb15 Transformation

Tell us about transformation.

It’s been a slow progression over the last few years. A crease here, a stray gray there, little extra aches and pains. The people I interact with don’t see what I see — or feel what I feel. They try to convince me that it’s just a myth, that it won’t happen to me. Some days I fight against it and try to believe the compliments. Other days, I realize that this is an eventuality to be understood and accepted. Aging. It happens to all of us. We will all lose our youth sooner or later. Thus far, I’ve been lucky. My hair maintains the beautiful shade of brunette. A healthy amount of water and appropriate moisturize cleans the lines from deepening too soon. I try to focus on my health so that I can enjoy a quality life as my body eases into the next phases of life. This year I haven’t moved my body as often as I should have. I haven’t always made time for self-care. Next year, I intend to further increase my health and vitality so that when the gray hairs and wrinkles come, I can still enjoy my life.

Image credit to Kat McNally
Image credit to Kat McNally
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#Reverb15 Shake It Off

What are you going to shake off with fierceness before you enter the new year?

I’m going to shake off this fog that’s been clouding my vision and mind for the whole year. The fog rolled in back in January 2013, and even though circumstances have cleared up, the fog hasn’t. I intend to enter 2016 with such fierceness that all the past fears me instead of being as it currently is.

Day 13 Reverb 15

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#Reverb15 The Alchemy of Fear

Can you think of an instance in the past year where you have been successful at making fear useful? What fears do you hold about the year ahead? And how could you use the energy of those fears in a different way?

I have made fear useful when our vehicle began failing. I put our plans on hold to make sure our van would be safe to transport our family from the many places we go. I made use of fear when I thought for certain I was having a heart attack, only to learn that panic attacks can mimic them quite well. I had no choice but to start exploring why I was so anxious and how to accommodate myself. As far as the year ahead, I’m scared that we’ll still be struggling as we have this year. I’m scared that our van will completely break down before we buy a new vehicle. I’m scared that I’ll have to fly by the seat of my pants once again. I’m scared that I’ll never figure out what I’d like to do with my life — that I’ll be stagnant. Instead of letting those fears take over and inducing anxiety, I will use these energies to motivate myself to make changes where they need to be made. I will take note of the fear, let it exist, and calmly move forward. I have learned one important lesson about life in the last 5 years: it goes on and gets better. Even when everything seems to crumble at your feet, the curve goes back up every time. It just takes patience and perspective.

Image credit to Kat McNally
Image credit to Kat McNally
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#Reverb15 Atoms and Stories

“Muriel Rukeyser once wrote: “The Universe is made of stories, not of atoms.”And I could not agree more. Our stories are our own but, in sharing them, they become universal. And timeless. ” — Kat completely gets me, as does Muriel Rukeyser. I found a picture once before that expressed this same sentiment. (“The universe is not made of atoms. It’s made of TINY STORIES.”) Now, on to the prompt…

What stories touched you this year? Which stories of your own are you glad you shared?

I was touched by the stories of Rhonda Rousey, our close-ups of Pluto, and the Paris attacks. The Chattanooga attack horrified and saddened me. I live about 20 minutes away from Chattanooga, and I’m quite familiar with the location of the shootings. The senseless loss of life never ceases to disturb me. Of course, quite a handful of friends have given birth or become pregnant, which renews my hope for the world. My childbearing days are behind me, but I do adore fawning over someone else’s precious newborn — reminiscing in the days of my children’s infancy.

I’m glad I’ve shared my story of struggles with our vehicle and how we’ve made the best of the situation. Perception and attitude are everything in life, and I know we’ve definitely turned a depressing situation into both an adventure and a lesson. I’ve shared my hopes and my disappointments equally because that’s more true to life. The sun won’t always shine, but the rain clears up, too.

Image credit to Kat McNally
Image credit to Kat McNally
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